_Rob._ Gaylie, how can I ever thank you for making me what I am? _Gaylie._ Nonsense, Rob! you made yourself. If I did help a little, 'twas for my own pride; for I always wanted to be a colonel's wife. Ahem! _Crimp_ (_down_ L.). So did I. Yaas, yaas! I'm obleeged to you. No, no, dat's a bifstake: dat's a bifstake. I mean—I mean—wh-w-w-what do I mean? I mean to go an' let off dem ar squabs; make a blaze; cos de colonel's come; yaas, indeed! _Hiram_ (R.). Wait, Crimp: the colonel's going to speak. _Crimp._ Yaas, indeed! I's waiting with both years wide open tight. I'm obleeged to you. _Rob_ (C. _with_ GAYLIE). Ladies and gentlemen of the Home Guard, accept my thanks for your kind and valuable assistance in the campaign just closed. Ever grateful must our country's defenders be to the strong arms and tender hands, loving hearts and watchful eyes, that cared for the old folks at home, when they were in the field. _Gaylie_ (C.). Ahem! Colonel, in behalf of the Home Guard, I give you a hearty welcome home. If our efforts have won your approbation, if—There, I've broken down! O Rob, Rob! I'm so glad to get you back! we'll be a happy family now, won't we, mother? _Mrs. T._ (_comes down_ R. C.). Indeed we will, Gaylie. My own boy back again, thank Heaven! The skies will be bright now. _Rob._ Ay, mother! bright to herald the coming of peace, with all its blessings. We have fought the good fight: we have conquered. Henceforth the land we love is free. _Crimp._ Das a fac', an' I am one on 'em; I'm obleeged to you. _Gaylie._ Yes, we have conquered; and, though "the girl you left behind you" has done but little for the cause, she carried into it a loyal and a willing heart; and, if her hero is satisfied, she will never regret having "enlisted for the war." HIRAM _and_ MATTIE, R. MRS. T., ROB, GAYLIE, C. CRIMP, L. _Curtain._ NEVER SAY DIE. CHARACTERS. MR. SIMON GRAYLOCK. MR. RALPH CHEENY. JOHN BOUNCE, Mr. Graylock's coachman. MRS. GRAYLOCK. MISS ALICE CHASE. PATTY PERT, Mrs. Graylock's maid. COSTUMES MODERN AND APPROPRIATE. SCENE.—_Handsome apartment in the house of_ MR. GRAYLOCK. _Table_, C., _red cloth. A study-lamp burning. Books and papers. Lounge_, R. _Arm-chair_, L. _Chairs_ R. _and_ L. _of table_. PATTY PERT _seated in arm-chair with a book_.