I've had the lumbager, dyspepsy, and ager, With tight-fitting veskits and pantaloons too; Highsterics and swimins, delirious trimins, St. Vestris's dance, and the tick dolly-oo. But not the whole gettin', one's body tight fits in, Is noffin' to this, which is drefful. Oh, oh! Drat these grand fashions! they wakens my passions, A-nippin' and gnawin' my poor stomach so! (_Heads disappear._) Now, there's a touching song to move the heart, Hark! what's that? I thought I heard them start. _Song_: CHILDREN, _outside; air, "Oh, dear, what can the matter be?"_ Oh, dear, what can the matter be? Dear, dear, what can the matter be? Oh, dear, what can the matter be? Somebody's groaning out there! A hungry old beggar has come here to tease us, By grinding an organ he knows will not please us. He hopes it may bring him a handful of pennies, To buy him a loaf of brown bread. _Enter_ OLD WOMAN, _with_ CHILDREN, L., _from behind shoe. The largest hangs on to her skirts, the next in size to the largest, until they dwindle to the smallest; repeat song as they enter slowly, turn to_ R., _march across stage; turn to_ L., _march across again; turn to_ R., _and form across stage._ _O. W._ Now go away, old man. 'Tis very queer That you should seek to waste your sweetness here; For we've no money, not a cent, to pay For music; so you'd better up and move away. _Santa._ Alas, alas! and can you be unkind To one who's been by Fortune left behind; Who has no friend, no money, and no clo'es; The hunted victim of unnumbered woes? Good dame, I ask not money: if you please, A simple crust my hunger to appease. _O. W._ Good gracious! Starving! Children, do you hear? The old man's hungry: quickly disappear! (CHILDREN _scamper behind shoe_.) _Santa._ She drives them in. To me 'tis very clear Old Santa fails to find a welcome here. _O. W._ We're very poor, have fasted many a day, Yet from our door ne'er drove the poor away. _Song; air, "Balm of Gilead," by the_ CHILDREN, _who march in as before, carrying sticks, on which are stuck apples, potatoes, crusts of bread, turnip, carrot, "beat," &c. They move around the stage, singing as they pass_ SANTA; _the last time, pitch their potatoes, &c., into his tin kitchen. He stands_ L. _of stage_; OLD WOMAN, R.