The Expedition of Humphry ClinkerSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Expedition of Humphry Clinker
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Epistolary fiction; Great Britain -- Fiction; Travelers -- Fiction
Pray settle accompts with Barnes; take what money of mine is in his
hands, and give him acquittance. If you think Davis has stock or credit
enough to do justice to the farm, give him a discharge for the rent that
is due, this will animate his industry; for I know that nothing is so
discouraging to a farmer as the thoughts of being in arrears with his
landlord. He becomes dispirited, and neglects his labour; and so the
farm goes to wreck. Tabby has been clamouring for some days about the
lamb’s skin, which Williams, the hind, begged of me, when he was last at
Bath. Prithee take it back, paying the fellow the full value of it, that
I may have some peace in my own house; and let him keep his own counsel,
if he means to keep his place--O! I shall never presume to despise or
censure any poor man, for suffering himself to be henpecked; conscious
how I myself am obliged to truckle to a domestic demon; even though
(blessed be God) she is not yoked with me for life, in the matrimonial
waggon--She has quarrelled with the servants of the house about vails;
and such intolerable scolding ensued on both sides, that I have been
fain to appease the cook and chambermaid by stealth. Can’t you find some
poor gentleman of Wales, to take this precious commodity off the hands
of
Yours, MATT. BRAMBLE BATH, May 19.
To Dr LEWIS.
DOCTER LEWS,
Give me leaf to tell you, methinks you mought employ your talons better,
than to encourage servants to pillage their masters. I find by Gwyllim,
that Villiams has got my skin; for which he is an impotent rascal. He
has not only got my skin, but, moreover, my butter-milk to fatten his
pigs; and, I suppose, the next thing he gets, will be my pad to carry
his daughter to church and fair: Roger gets this, and Roger gets
that; but I’d have you to know, I won’t be rogered at this rate by any
ragmatical fellow in the kingdom--And I am surprised, docter Lews, you
would offer to put my affairs in composition with the refuge and skim
of the hearth. I have toiled and moyled to a good purpuss, for the
advantage of Matt’s family, if I can’t safe as much owl as will make me
an under petticoat. As for the butter-milk, ne’er a pig in the parish
shall thrust his snout in it, with my good-will. There’s a famous
physician at the Hot Well, that prescribes it to his patience, when
the case is consumptive; and the Scots and Irish have begun to drink it
already, in such quantities, that there is not a drop left for the
hogs in the whole neighbourhood of Bristol. I’ll have our butter-milk
barrelled up, and sent twice a-week to Aberginny, where it may be sold
for a half-penny the quart; and so Roger may carry his pigs to another
market--I hope, Docter, you will not go to put any more such phims in my
brother’s head, to the prejudice of my pockat; but rather give me some
raisins (which hitherto you have not done) to subscribe myself
Your humble servant, TAB. BRAMBLE BATH, May 19.
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, of Jesus college, Oxon.
DEAR PHILLIPS,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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