The Experiences of Uncle Jack: Being a Biography of Rev. Andrew Jackson NewgentSnyder, W. Ed.
Religion
The Experiences of Uncle Jack: Being a Biography of Rev. Andrew Jackson Newgent
Snyder, W. Ed.
Newgent, Andrew Jackson, 1838-1913
About this time Doctor Stone was enjoying no small degree of notoriety.
He had debated with a Methodist minister in southern Illinois, and so
completely mastered him that he acknowledged his defeat in sack cloth and
ashes, and joined the Christian Church. Stone was taking advantage of his
newly-acquired popularity in waging a relentless war against the “sects,”
as he termed them, when some of the Pedo-Baptists secured Newgent to meet
him in debate. And the challenge was brought to the great, self-important
Doctor Stone.
“Newgent!” said this supposed Goliath with a contemptuous sneer. “He
can’t debate. He’s an Irish peddler who used to sell table-cloths in my
father’s neighborhood.” The committee informed him that they were willing
to risk their case with the Irish peddler. However, Stone’s visit to
Doctor Treat to get information concerning the Irishman would indicate
that his contempt was more feigned than real.
The debate was held in a small town in southern Illinois, where the
doctor had been making havoc of the “sects.” The table-cloth story became
current, and much speculation was indulged in concerning the supposed
vender of household commodities. His coming to the village was awaited
with intense interest. When the train on which he was scheduled to
arrive pulled in at the station, a curious and enthusiastic crowd was
waiting to get a view of the man who dared to dispute the wisdom of
Doctor Stone. As he stepped from the car, a gentleman who knew him said,
pointing him out, “There’s the table-cloth peddler.”
A hearty salute was given by the crowd. Newgent, having been apprised of
the story, was equal to the occasion. As soon as the hubbub ceased, he
addressed the crowd, turning the table-cloth story against his opponent
in the following speech:
“Gentlemen, if you have come here to buy table-cloths, you will be
disappointed. I have changed my occupation. I have been informed that
there is some fine stone in southern Illinois, so I have come down here
to set up my shop and spend a few days dressing Stone.”
The “Stone dressing” joke superseded the table-cloth story and became a
catch phrase throughout the debate.
It is likely that Stone often called to mind the friendly advice of
Doctor Treat, and regretted that he did not take it. He could cope
neither with the argument, the quick wit, nor the physical endurance of
his opponent. His voice failed completely, and the last two addresses
of Newgent were unanswered. The Stone-dressing business proved eminently
successful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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