The extraordinary confessions of Diana PleaseCapes, Bernard
General
The extraordinary confessions of Diana Please
Capes, Bernard
Femmes fatales -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Naples (Kingdom) -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
In the first terror, with staring eyes, a storm in my breast that
would not rise and break, dishevelled hair, and, it may be, a look of
the part I was called upon to play, I shrunk into a corner of the room
into which I was introduced, and stood there panting. Dr. Peel went
into a thin chuckle of laughter, curiously small and inward from so
thick-set a frame.
“Brava!” said he. “Very well observed, madam! But, if you will look
round, you will see there are no bolts, no bars, no locks here, save
as the ordinary appurtenances of a domestic household.”
There were not, indeed, to the common view. To most doors, as I came
to discover, the locks were inside; and, where it was otherwise, it
was--mark this!--to insure from any chance insane attack, especially
at night, the lives of those which it was particularly desired should
be preserved. To be given the full freedom of the House was always a
significant privilege, implying, as it did, one of two things: either
that the proprietor had accepted at the outset a round sum down for
one’s perpetual incarceration, or a hint that one’s accidental removal
would be handsomely acknowledged by those interested.
Now, as I said, waking on that first morning to free prospects, my
spirit experienced a rebound to the most delightful reassurance.
Surely, I thought, no worse harm could be designed me than the
punishment implied in my enforced temporary detention in this charming
home, where, it seemed likely, a nominal deprivation of one’s liberty
was used to convey a gentle moral or adorn a kindly tale of reproval.
I waxed jubilant. If a meek acquiescence in my fate delayed to move my
jailers to liberate me, I was confident that my wits would soon find
me a way to free myself from so indulgent a thraldom. And in the
meantime I would resign myself to the enjoyment of a very novel
experience.
A loud bell summoned us all to breakfast, _à la table d’hôte_, in a
pleasant refectory. Dr. Peel took the head of the table, and a plenty
of attentive lackeys waited. There was no restriction, nor
interference with one’s individual tastes. I accepted silently the
place assigned me between a gaunt, supernaturally solemn gentleman,
with mended clothes, a wigless head, and prominent fixed eyes, and the
tiniest, most conceited-looking creature with humped shoulders I have
ever seen. An uproarious gabble of conversation, interspersed with
occasional hoots and groans, accompanied the meal throughout.
Occasionally my solemn neighbour would turn to me and remark,
fiercely, as though daring a contradiction, “Enough is as good as a
feast; but more than enough is less than nothing.”
On the third repetition of this formula, the little man on my other
side addressed me with an ill-tempered chuckle--
“Bring him down, ma’am, bring him down, or the creature will scorch
his head in the moon.”
While I was shrinking back in confusion, Dr. Peel bent to the
solemnity.
“Captain,” says he, with an ingratiatory grin, “you’re drinking
nothing.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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