London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“I wonder whether you _can_ make me happy?” she said. “I suppose I have
been happy before this--but I don’t know when. I don’t remember a time
when I was not hungry or cold. Wait a bit. I do think I _was_ happy
once. It was a long while ago, and it took me a weary time to do it--but
I did learn at last to play a tune on the fiddle. The old man and his
wife took it in turns to teach me. Somebody gave me to the old man and
his wife; I don’t know who it was, and I don’t remember their names.
They were musicians. In the fine streets they sang hymns, and in the
poor streets they sang comic songs. It was cold, to be sure, standing
barefoot on the pavement--but I got plenty of halfpence. The people said
I was so little it was a shame to send me out, and so I got halfpence.
I had bread and apples for supper, and a nice little corner under the
staircase, to sleep in. Do you know, I do think I did enjoy myself at
that time,” she concluded, still a little doubtful whether those faint
and far-off remembrances were really to be relied on.
Amelius tried to lead her to other recollections. He asked her how old
she was when she played the fiddle.
“I don’t know,” she answered; “I don’t know how old I am now. I don’t
remember anything before the fiddle. I can’t call to mind how long it
was first--but there came a time when the old man and his wife got into
trouble. They went to prison, and I never saw them afterwards. I ran
away with the fiddle; to get the halfpence, you know, all to myself. I
think I should have got a deal of money, if it hadn’t been for the boys.
They’re so cruel, the boys are. They broke my fiddle. I tried selling
pencils after that; but people didn’t seem to want pencils. They
found me out begging. I got took up, and brought before the
what-do-you-call-him--the gentleman who sits in a high place, you know,
behind a desk. Oh, but I was frightened, when they took me before the
gentleman! He looked very much puzzled. He says, ‘Bring her up here;
she’s so small I can hardly see her.’ He says, ‘Good God! what am I to
do with this unfortunate child?’ There was plenty of people about. One
of them says, ‘The workhouse ought to take her.’ And a lady came in, and
she says, ‘I’ll take her, sir, if you’ll let me.’ And he knew her, and
he let her. She took me to a place they called a Refuge--for wandering
children, you know. It was very strict at the Refuge. They did give
us plenty to eat, to be sure, and they taught us lessons. They told us
about Our Father up in Heaven. I said a wrong thing--I said, ‘I don’t
want him up in Heaven; I want him down here.’ They were very much
ashamed of me when I said that. I was a bad girl; I turned ungrateful.
After a time, I ran away. You see, it was so strict, and I was so used
to the streets. I met with a Scotchman in the streets. He wore a kilt,
and played the pipes; he taught me to dance, and dressed me up like a
Scotch girl. He had a curious wife, a sort of half-black woman. She used
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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