London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
The room began to recover its pleasant temperature. He shifted the
cushion in the chair, so that it supported his head in perfect comfort,
and composed himself to rest. But the capricious influences of sleep had
deserted him: he tried one position after another, and all in vain.
It was a mere mockery even to shut his eyes. He resigned himself
to circumstances, and stretched out his legs, and looked at the
companionable fire.
Of late he had thought more frequently than usual of his past days in
the Community. His mind went back again now to that bygone time. The
clock on the mantelpiece struck nine. They were all at supper, at
Tadmor--talking over the events of the day. He saw himself again at the
long wooden table, with shy little Mellicent in the chair next to him,
and his favourite dog at his feet waiting to be fed. Where was Mellicent
now? It was a sad letter that she had written to him, with the strange
fixed idea that he was to return to her one day. There was something
very winning and lovable about the poor creature who had lived such a
hard life at home, and had suffered so keenly. It was a comfort to think
that she would go back to the Community. What happier destiny could she
hope for? Would she take care of his dog for him when she went back?
They had all promised to be kind to his pet animals in his absence; but
the dog was fond of Mellicent; he would be happier with Mellicent than
with the rest of them. And his little tame fawn, and his birds--how were
they doing? He had not even written to inquire after them; he had been
cruelly forgetful of those harmless dumb loving friends. In his present
solitude, in his dreary doubts of the future, what would he not give to
feel the dog nestling in his bosom, and the fawn’s little rough tongue
licking his hand! His heart ached as he thought of it: a choking
hysterical sensation oppressed his breathing. He tried to rise, and ring
for lights, and rouse his manhood to endure and resist. It was not to be
done. Where was his courage? where was the cheerfulness which had never
failed him at other time? He sank back in the chair, and hid his face in
his hands for shame at his own weakness, and burst out crying.
The touch of soft persuasive fingers suddenly thrilled through him.
His hands were gently drawn away from his face; a familiar voice, sweet
and low, said, “Oh, don’t cry!” Dimly through his tears he saw the
well-remembered little figure standing between him and the fire. In his
unendurable loneliness, he had longed for his dog, he had longed for
his fawn. There was the martyred creature from the streets, whom he
had rescued from nameless horror, waiting to be his companion, servant,
friend! There was the child-victim of cold and hunger, still only
feeling her way to womanhood; innocent of all other aspirations, so long
as she might fill the place which had once been occupied by the dog and
the fawn!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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