Poppy put up her hands and pushed the masses of her hair from her
forehead. And all the while the shifting lights and shadows played over
her white face and bare neck, and the horse trotted on, past closed
shops and curtained windows, farther out of London and into the night.
"He didn't do anything which the world calls vicious," she continued
presently. A great dreariness had come into the tones of her voice. "He
was faithful to me, as the world counts faithfulness, simply because he
didn't care for women--except for philandering with sentimental sillies
who thought him an unappreciated eighth wonder of the world, and pawed
over and pitied him. La! La! The mere thought of it makes me sick! But
he was too much in love with himself to be capable of even an animal
passion for anybody else. And he made a great point of his virtue. I
heard a lot about it--oh! a lot!"
For a minute or two Poppy sat silent. Then she turned to Mr. Iglesias,
smiling, as those smile who refuse submission to some cruel pain.
"I wasn't born bad, dear man," she said, "and I held out longer than
most women in my profession would, where morals are easy and it's
lightly come and lightly go in respect of lovers and love. But one fine
day I packed up my traps and cleared out. He'd been whining for years,
and some little thing he said or did--I really forget exactly
what--raised Cain in me, and I thought I'd jolly well give him
something to whine about. I knew perfectly well he wouldn't divorce me.
He wanted me too much, at the end of a string, to torment, and to get
money from when times were bad. Not that I cared for a divorce. I
consider it the clumsiest invention out for setting wrongs right. I
have too great a respect for marriage, which ought, if it means
anything, to mean motherhood and children, and a clean, wholesome start
in life for the second generation. When a woman breaks away and crosses
the lines, she only makes bad worse, in my opinion, by the hypocritical
respectability of a marriage while her husband is still alive. Let's be
honest sinners any way, if sin we must."
Again she paused, looking backward in thought, seeing and hearing
things which, for the honour of others, it was kindest not to repeat.
The carriage moved slowly, the horse slackening its pace in climbing
the last steep piece of hill which leads to the pond on Hampstead Heath.
"And now it's over," Poppy said, letting her hands drop in her lap.
"Done with. The poor wretched thing's dead--has killed himself. That is
a fitting conclusion. He was always his own worst enemy.--Well, as far
as I am concerned, let him rest in peace."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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