Serena was really very glad indeed to come to London just now. Still,
there were self-respecting decencies to be observed, specially in the
presence of another guest. Relationship does not necessarily imply
social equality; and, as Serena reminded herself, the family always had
felt that poor George had married beneath him. Therefore it was well to
keep the fact of her own superior refinement well in view. In the case
of good George Lovegrove this was, however, a work of supererogation.
For he had a, to himself, positively embarrassing respect for Serena's
gentility--embarrassing because at moments it came painfully near
endangering the completeness of his consideration for "the wife's
feelings." The two ladies frequently differed upon matters of taste and
etiquette, with the result that the good man's guileless breast was
torn by conflicting emotions. For had not Serena's father been a
General Officer of the Indian army? And had not Serena herself and her
elder sister Susan--a person of definite views and commanding
character--long been resident at Slowby in Midlandshire, an inland
watering-place of acknowledged fashion? It followed that her
pronouncements on social questions were necessarily final. Yet to
uphold her judgment, as against that of the wife, was to risk
mortifying the latter. And to mortify the wife would be to act as a
heartless scoundrel. Hence situations, for George Lovegrove, difficult
to the point of producing profuse perspiration.
That night Serena prepared for rest with remarkable deliberation. Clad
in a blue and white striped cotton dressing-gown, she sat long at her
toilet-table. And all the time she wondered--a far-reaching, mazelike,
elaborately intricate and wholly inconclusive wonder. Hers was a nature
which suffered perpetual solicitation from possible alternatives,
hearing warning voices from the vague, delusive regions of the might-be
or might-have-been. She had never grasped the rudimentary but very
important truth that only that which actually is in the least matters.
And so to arrive at what is, with all possible despatch--in so far as
such arriving is practicable--and then to go forward, comprises the
whole duty of the sane human being. Par from this, Serena's mind
forever fitted batlike in the half-darkness of innumerable small
prejudices and ignorances. She moved, as do so many women of her class,
in a twilight, embryonic world, untouched alike by the splendour and
terror of living.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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