"As a matter of fact," said Christopher thoughtfully, "I don't believe a
man who loves a woman can ever appreciate her genius properly, because
love is greater than genius, and so the greater swallows up the less. In
the eyes of the world, her genius is the one thing which places a woman
of genius above her fellows, and the world worships it accordingly. But
in the eyes of the man who loves her, she is already placed so far above
her fellows that her genius makes no difference to her altitude. Thirty
feet makes all the difference in the height of a weather-cock, but none
at all in the distance between the earth and a fixed star."
"What a nice thing to say! I adore you when you say things like that."
Christopher continued: "You see, the man is interested in the woman's
works of art simply because they are hers; just as he is interested in
the rustle of her silk petticoat simply because it is hers. Possibly he
is more interested in the latter, because men can paint pictures
sometimes, and they can never rustle silk petticoats properly. You are
right in thinking that the world adores you for the sake of your
creations, while I adore your creations for the sake of you; but you
must also remember that the world would cease to worship you if your
genius began to decline, while I should love you just the same if you
took to painting sign-posts and illustrating Christmas cards--even if
you became an impressionist."
"What a dear boy you are! You really are the greatest comfort to me. I
didn't always feel like this, but now you satisfy me completely, and
fill up every crevice of my soul. There isn't a little space anywhere in
my mind or heart or spirit that isn't simply bursting with you." And
Elisabeth laughed a low laugh of perfect contentment.
"My darling, how I love you!" And Christopher also was content.
Then there was another silence, which Christopher broke at last by
saying--
"What is the matter, Betty?"
"There isn't anything the matter. How should there be?"
"Oh, yes, there is. Do you think I have studied your face for over
thirty years, my dear, without knowing every shade of difference in its
expression? Have I said anything to vex you?"
"No, no; how could I be vexed with you, Chris, when you are so good to
me? I am horrid enough, goodness knows, but not horrid enough for that."
"Then what is it? Tell me, dear, and see if I can't help?"
Elisabeth sighed. "I was thinking that there is really no going back,
however much we may pretend that there is. What we have done we have
done, and what we have left undone we have left undone; and there is no
blotting out the story of past years. We may write new stories, perhaps,
and try to write better ones, but the old ones are written beyond
altering, and must stand for ever. You have been divinely good to me,
Chris, and you never remind me even by a look how I hurt you and
misjudged you in the old days. But the fact remains that I did both; and
nothing can ever alter that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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