mere jumble of inherited instincts and impulses.
The state of Jacynth’s mind, during his friend’s absence upon his
fruitless and bootless quest in Guernsey, was just such as a scientific
French novelist would have loved to fathom and explain.
In so doing he would have performed a feat of which the object of his
investigation was himself utterly incapable, for Jacynth, for reasons
best known to himself, shrank from making too close an examination of
his feelings and desires at this particular period. It might have been
that he was afraid of facing the conclusion which lurked at the bottom
of them. There was a small balcony at the Liverpool hotel, just outside
the room wherein Ronny was being coaxed into convalescence by his
mother, where our hero would sit smoking his cigar until late in the
afternoon, following out a train of disjointed thoughts that he essayed
to drive away upon the circling wreaths of smoke drifting before him
into the void. Perhaps they were more impressions than thoughts, half
sad, half pleasant musings that it was safer not to reduce to coherent
shape. He was conscious throughout of a dominant wish that the present
time could be prolonged into an indefinite future; not at the cost of
sickness and suffering to his unfortunate friend, but only, perhaps, at
the cost of a timely prolongation of the actual gales which prevented
the Guernsey boats from putting to sea. He had not willed that his
signature should appear upon the telegram to Fenella in connection with
her husband’s; but since fate and (to say the truth) Frank’s folly in
running off upon a wild-goose chase of his own had combined to leave
him in charge, he could not but feel that there was a certain poetical
justice in the situation, which it was allowable to enjoy to the full
while it lasted. He pondered a good deal upon Fenella’s character,
which seemed to have revealed itself to him latterly in a new light. He
remembered that her first question, her first cry, as she rushed into
the hotel, had been for her child. It was only afterward that she had
shown any solicitude concerning the fate of Ronny’s father. Then, had
she not resigned herself to the lot--nay, had she not willfully chosen
it--of a self-constituted grass widow for years unnumbered? Her child,
however, she had kept by her side, and, as far as could be seen, he
had satisfied all the needs of her heart, for Jacynth was of those who
believed that the train-attendant of Fenella’s adorers had had nothing
to say to her heart, thought they might have amused her vanity. Could
she belong, he asked himself, to the order of women of whom Dumas,
_fils_, speaks, when he says that in certain natures the instinct of
maternity overcomes the instinct of wifehood, and that the woman ceases
to be wife and mother, and becomes mother and wife, or possibly mother
only? In that case any man who should prove himself a true friend and
protector of her little boy might be sure of having a warm second place
in her heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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