The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
When everything was prepared, the collections made, the invitations
sent out, Mademoiselle de Songeon and Madame Dulaurens were officially
delegated to go to Le Maupas to ask the family’s permission. Madame
de Marthenay accompanied her mother. She wished to present her
condolences to Madame Guibert and to Paule, and had not dared to make
the journey alone.
It was the beginning of March. The snow was melting in the desolate,
muddy fields and in the sunken roads. Under the lowering sky,
surrounded by black, bare trees swaying sadly to and fro, the old
country house wore a melancholy and abandoned air.
“I should hate to be buried alive here all the year round,” said Madame
Dulaurens to Mademoiselle de Songeon as the carriage drove up the
deserted avenue.
“The Church is too far away,” answered the pious old maid.
She did not think that God is everywhere. In spite of her age, she
persisted in travelling to meet Him in specially comfortable places.
Old Marie, seeing the carriage, did not refuse to allow the ladies to
enter, despite her strict orders. She ran to announce the visitors as
fast as her legs could carry her.
“I ordered you not to receive anyone,” said Madame Guibert sadly.
And turning to Paule she said: “I have no longer the courage to face
people. Why does Madame Dulaurens come to disturb our sorrow? We have
nothing in common. What does she want?”
“Mother dear, I don’t know,” said Paule, and she rose to depart.
“You will help me to receive her?”
“No, Mother, I don’t want to meet her.”
Madame Guibert looked at her daughter, whose pale and quivering but
decided face clearly showed her thoughts.
“Paule,” she entreated, “do not desert me. I am so shy and awkward, you
know. The evil that people do is more quickly forgotten than the good.
If she reminded me of the past I should not know what to answer. Stay
with me, Paule.”
The girl hesitated no more and made a sign to the servant to show the
ladies in.
“I will stay,” she said.
Mademoiselle de Songeon, little versed in diplomacy, allowed Madame
Dulaurens to speak first.
“You have been cruelly afflicted,” began that lady, going towards
Madame Guibert, who was obliged to lean against the fireplace in order
to rise from her chair.
Then she shook hands with Paule, whose unfriendly eyes she felt firmly
upon her. She would have preferred her not to be there.
“Yes,” said Marcel’s mother. “God is testing us.”
Thus at once she gave the interview a religious and serious tone.
Mademoiselle de Songeon tossed her head and looked upward, as if she
alone had the necessary authority to call upon the divine intervention.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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