The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
General
The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
The sun had gone down behind Mount Lépine. But before their eyes the
evening sky was glorious in a golden veil whose reflection fell
languidly on the waters of Lake Bourget. Le Revard and the Mont du
Chat, whose summits still shone in the light, tried desperately to
catch the last of the day of which their lofty heights had given them
so large a share. And the plain stretched out in a haze of blue and
pink, which spread over all things like a fall of flower-petals and
effaced all distinctions of shape and space.
“Look,” said Paule at last, pointing to the skyline.
The two girls rose at once to catch the effect of the sunset on the
lake to better advantage. Marcel had eyes for Alice only, in her white
robe, looking like a tall, graceful lily, her pure profile outlined
against the gold of the sky like the haloed angels of the pious
Quatrocentist painters. She turned slowly towards him, her long lashes
quivering over her dazzled eyes, and smiled at him gently as she said:
“I can look no longer. The sun hurts my eyes.”
Paule thought of the time when she and her brothers loved to stare at
the sun itself without lowering their eyelids. But Marcel, stirred in
spite of himself by the sight of so fragile a beauty, felt his heart
beat furiously, and was full of those longings for sacrifice which
accompany the dawn of love.
“Alice,” came the voice of Madame Dulaurens, “you must not stay out in
the cold air.”
A little later Marcel and Paule left. They got back to Le Maupas by a
path half hidden under the grass which borders the Forezan ravine and
crosses a wood of beech and birch before joining the Vimines road.
Through the foliage an occasional glimpse could be caught of a pink and
mauve sky, a sky of happy omen. And yet the brother and sister were
silent, lost in their own thoughts.
“You weren’t bored, Paule, were you?” asked Marcel at last.
“I? No, I went to La Chênaie to please you. Are you pleased?”
He did not answer at once. Without looking at Paule, whose sadness
he had not noticed owing to his own absorption, he began to tell his
secret in the darkness of the woods.
“If I asked her to marry me, what would you say?”
Paule had expected this confidence, and yet she trembled. Her dark eyes
were fixed on the path, strewn now with the dark leaves of other years,
and bathed in the violet evening light. She answered almost harshly:
“Her parents will refuse.”
“Why?” asked he, and love gave place for a moment to pride.
“Because you haven’t a title.”
“But neither have they. And besides, what does that matter nowadays?”
“Oh, their set retains its prejudices.”
“But if she wishes it herself?”
“She has no will of her own.”
“And if she loves me?”
“She will cry,” said Paule.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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