The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)Bordeaux, Henry
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The fear of living : $b (La peur de vivre)
Bordeaux, Henry
French fiction -- Translations into English
It was her own despair, which nobody must know, which she must crush in
silence and mystery, that made her give these cruel answers. Marcel,
his sensitive feelings hurt, lengthened his steps as he climbed the
hill and drew himself up as straight as a young oak-tree. But Paule at
last, choking down all thought of self, hastened to catch up with him
and took his hand in hers. She spoke in a voice quivering with emotion.
“Listen, Marcel, I spoke hastily just now. I was in bad humor. Forgive
me, I was wrong. Yes, I know that I was wrong. I saw to-day that she
liked you. And her mother lavishes favors and kindnesses upon you.”
Marcel listened to her, but his face was still melancholy.
Paule went on. “You see, since father died there have been so many
changes that my character has become embittered, no doubt. I cannot
bear people who belittle everything we admire and make fun of all
our enthusiasms. You saw that Isabelle Orlandi? But if Alice became
your wife, how quickly she would change! She is so good, so sweet and
gentle. And then she is so lovely.”
“Yes,” he agreed sadly. “She is lovely.”
It grew darker in the woods. The slim trunks of the birches and beeches
mingled with the blackness of their foliage. But beyond the trees the
brother and sister emerged again into the lingering summer twilight
which refused to give place to night.
As they came in sight of Le Maupas, Marcel stopped short.
“No, you are not wrong. But speak to Alice. Explain to her my past, my
future, all that is my pride--my only fortune. I would carry her off to
Algiers, which is an enchanted town.”
She understood and, looking tenderly at her brother, said:
“Ah, if you love her, that’s different. I will do as you wish.”
“Speak to her to-morrow,” he insisted. “We are going to breakfast at La
Chênaie with Mademoiselle Orlandi’s fiancé.”
“To-morrow? So soon?” was all she said. The invitation had not been
given to her personally. But she gave no thought to this discourtesy,
and added:
“Wouldn’t it be better to speak to her parents?”
“No,” he answered decidedly, “I don’t want our mother to run the risk
of taking a useless step.”
And as they passed through the gate she murmured:
“I want you to be happy!”
He smiled, but not at all confidently.
“Don’t say anything to Mother yet. She doesn’t like that set. Neither
do I.” Still he had to admit his weakness at the end.
“But I do love _her_!” he concluded.
CHAPTER V
ALICE’S SECRET
A plebeian husband and a woman of the aristocracy have not yet come to
be regarded in French provincial life as making a good match. They are
called “half bloods,” and they cannot make any pretensions to race.
They are the object of ridicule when the husband allows the wife to
dwell incessantly on her origin, in order to conceal the humbleness of
his own, and even to have her maiden name added on her visiting cards.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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