"Doc" Fussel, whose sales during the day had been a package of rat
poison and a bottle of painkiller, looked like a lemon that has lain too
long in the window, when he arose and diffidently offered his suggestion
for the relief of Prouty. The doctor's voice when he was frightened had
the rich sonorous tones of a mouse squeaking in the wall, and now as he
ventured the suggestion that Prouty's hope lay in raising peppermint,
his voice was inaudible beyond the fifth row of chairs. In the rear of
the room they caught the words "mint" and "still," and were under the
impression that he was advocating the manufacture of counterfeit money
and moonshine whiskey. As a matter of fact, the doctor advised the
purchase of large tracts of land which could be flooded and transformed
into bogs. These bogs were to be planted in peppermint, for which, he
averred, there was an insatiable demand. The world had yet to have too
much peppermint. So long as there were babies there would be colic, and
so long as there was colic there would be a need for peppermint;
therefore, reasoning along the dotted line from A to Z, there always
would be a market. Peppermint was the one industry requiring small
capital which had not been overdone. He could go to Illinois and
purchase a secondhand still of which he knew, at small cost. A bottling
works for preparing and labeling the essence could be established in
Prouty, and there was no reason why, in time, Prouty should not become
the recognized peppermint center of America.
When the doctor sat down, after giving the back of the chair which he
gripped a farewell wring that all but tore it loose from its sockets,
Mr. Butefish arose and congratulated him upon the novelty of his
suggestion and recommended that it be investigated carefully.
There was excellent reason to believe that Walter Scales, at no remote
date, had been handling kerosene and saltfish, for the air in his
vicinity was redolent of these commodities as he arose when called upon
as the next in order.
Before speaking of the remedy for the present stagnant condition of "the
fairest spot that the sun ever shone upon," Mr. Scales stated that he
wished to protest thus publicly against the practice which now obtained
of pitching horseshoes in the main street of Prouty. There was nothing,
he declared vehemently, which made so bad an impression upon a stranger
as to see the leading citizens of a community pitching horseshoes in its
principal thoroughfare.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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