"I know how much my decision means to you; I know that there isn't one
here who would not be affected directly or indirectly by the collapse of
this project; that it will take years for you to get back even to the
position you were in when you came, quite as well as I realize that its
completion would put you on your feet."
She stopped again while they waited for her to go on in a silence that
was painful.
"When I've visualized 'The Day' in my waking dreams, I've wondered if I
should weaken and forgive my enemies as they always do in books--if any
argument could move me to relent--if any impulse would soften me toward
you--if I might not even pity you.
"One never knows, but I thought not. And I was right. The desperation of
your situation isn't the sort of pathos that appeals to me. I find that
in my nature there is nothing 'noble' that pleads for you. I neither
pity nor forgive you.
"Yet this moment is a disappointment. Instead of the sweetness of
revenge, I feel only indifference, for I realize as never before how I
magnified your importance, that I looked at you through the wrong end of
the telescope; and along with my apathy is a feeling of dismay that I
have spent all these years working to retaliate upon foes that are not
worth what it has cost. The worst thing one could wish you is to be
yourselves, for there isn't one among you who has the qualities to lift
him above his present level of mediocrity."
A resentful movement to go was initiated by Gov'nor Sudds.
"Wait a moment!" Kate raised her hand imperiously. "I presume you think
you have your answer?" She shook her head slowly. Then, with increased
deliberation: "I told you that I always pay my debts. I owe my success
to you. It is my enemies who have given me the patience to sit hour
after hour and herd sheep--not for weeks nor months, but for years. It
is my enemies who have given me the courage to stagger on through cold
and snow when the blood in my veins was ice. It is my enemies who have
given me the endurance to work in emergencies until I have dropped; to
endure poverty, loneliness, derision--and worse. When failures have
knocked me down, it is you, my enemies, who have given me the strength
to pick myself up and go on.
"Because of you, I am the better able to appreciate true friendship,
integrity, the many qualities which go to make up greatness of mind and
heart, and that in happier circumstances I have learned do exist. So you
see, if you have taken much, perhaps you have given more, and I have an
obligation to discharge. Therefore," she turned to her father with a
slightly inquiring look, "if the decision still remains with me, I
should like to know that the project will go through."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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