If it has been said of him that when once full submersion, as from far
back, had visibly begun to await him, he watched himself, in a cold
lucidity, _do_ punctually and necessarily each of the deplorable things
that were inconsistent with his keeping afloat, so at present again he
might have been held agaze just by the presented grotesqueness of that
vigil. Such ghosts of dead seasons were all he _had_ now to watch--such
a recaptured sense for instance as that of the dismal unavailing
awareness that had attended his act of marriage. He had let submersion
final and absolute become the signal for it--a mere minor determinant
having been the more or less contemporaneously unfavourable effect on
the business of Drury & Dean of the sudden disappearance of Mr. Dean
with the single small tin box into which the certificates of the
firm’s credit had been found to be compressible. That had been his
only form--or had at any rate seemed his only one. He couldn’t not have
married, no doubt, just as he couldn’t not have suffered the last degree
of humiliation and almost of want, or just as his wife and children
couldn’t not have died of the little he was able, under dire reiterated
pinches, to do for them; but it was “rum,” for final solitary brooding,
that he hadn’t appeared to see his way definitely to undertake the
support of a family till the last scrap of his little low-browed,
high-toned business, and the last figment of “property” in the old tiled
and timbered shell that housed it, had been sacrificed to creditors
mustering six rows deep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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