"Nor I," he said gaily; "don't let's disappoint each other. You know our
theory is that the old families are decadent; and I think we ought to
try to prove any theory we advance--in the interests of psychology.
Don't you?"
"I think we have proved it."
He laughed, and passing his arm around her drew her head so that it
rested against his face.
"That is particularly dishonourable," she said in an odd voice.
"Because I'm married?"
"Yes; and because I know it."
"That's true; you didn't know it when we were at Palm Beach. That was
tamer than this. I think now we can very easily prove our theory." And
he kissed her, still laughing. But when he did it again, she turned her
face against his shoulder.
"Courage," he said; "we ought to be able to prove this theory of
ours--you and I together--"
She was crying.
"If you're feeling guilty on Shiela's account, you needn't," he said.
"Didn't you know she can scarcely endure me?"
"Y-yes."
"Well, then--"
"No--no--no! Louis--I care too much--"
"For yourself?"
"N-no."
"For me? For Shiela? For public opinion?"
"No."
"For what?"
"I--I think it must be for--for--just for being--decent."
He inspected her with lively interest.
"Hello," he said coolly, "you're disproving our theory!"
She turned her face away from him, touching her eyes with her
handkerchief.
"Or," he added ironically, "is there another man?"
"No," she said without resentment; and there was a certain quality in
her voice new to him--a curious sweetness that he had never before
perceived.
"Tell me," he said quietly, "have you really suffered?"
"Suffered? Yes."
"You really cared for me?"
"I do still."
A flicker of the old malice lighted his face.
"But you won't let me kiss you? Why?"
She looked up into his eyes. "I feel as powerless with you as I was
before. You could always have had your will. Once I would not have
blamed you. Now it would be cowardly--because--I have forgiven myself--"
"I won't disturb your vows," he said seriously.
"Then--I think you had better go."
"I am going.... I only wanted to see you again.... May I ask you
something, dear?"
"Ask it," she said.
"Then--you are going to get over this, aren't you?"
"Not as long as you live, Louis."
"Oh!... And suppose I were not living?"
"I don't know."
"You'd recover, wouldn't you?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, you'd never have any other temptation--"
She turned scarlet.
"That is wicked!"
"It certainly is," he said with great gravity; "and I must come to the
scarcely flattering conclusion that there is in me a source of hideous
depravity, the unseen emanations of which, like those of the classic
upas-tree, are purest poison to a woman morally constituted as you are."
She looked up as he laughed; but there was no mirth in her bewildered
eyes.
"There _is_ something in you, Louis, which is fatal to the better side
of me."
"The _other_ Virginia couldn't endure me, I know."
"My other self learned to love your better self."
"I have none--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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