Bildungsromans; Norway -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
* * *
As a young man, the dean with an ardent temperament and talent for
oratory, had wished to study for the ministry; his parents, people of
wealth, had been against it; they would have preferred to see him
choose what they called an independent position; but their opposition
served only to increase his zeal, and when he had graduated, he went
abroad to study further. During a preliminary stay in Denmark, he used
often to meet a lady, who belonged to a religious sect not sufficiently
strict for him, and to whom he was therefore opposed: he sought
continually to influence her, but the way in which she looked at him,
thereby bringing him to silence, he could never forget during the whole
of his sojourn on the continent. When he returned, he at once visited
her. They had a good deal of intercourse, and grew in intimacy, till at
last they became engaged, and were soon after married. And now it was
evident that each of them had their own private thoughts; he had
purposed to draw her over with all her simple grace, to his gloomy
teaching, and she had been so innocently certain of being able to win
his power and eloquence over to the service of her church. His first
most cautious attempt was met by her first most cautious:--he drew
back, disappointed, mistrustful. She saw it at once, and from that day
he watched for her next attempt, while she did the same for his. But
neither of them tried it again, for both had become afraid: he was
afraid of his own passionate nature, and she, lest by a vain attempt,
she might spoil her opportunity of influencing him; for she never gave
up hope,--she had made it the aim of her life. But it never came to a
conflict; for where she was, such could not be; yet to his active will,
his repressed emotions, he must give vent, and so it happened every
time he entered the pulpit and saw her seated below. The members of his
church were drawn in with him as in a whirlwind, he excited them, and
soon they him. She saw it, and sought to give rest to her foreboding
heart in deeds of benevolence,----and later, when she became a mother,
in the daughter, on whom she lavished her tenderness, physical and
mental, and bore her to her quiet hours. There she gave, there she
took, there in the child's innocence, she watched over her own great
child, there she held the feast of love, and from there she returned to
him in his strictness, with the united mildness of a woman and a
Christian;--it was impossible for him to say anything that could wound
her then. He might indeed love her above all else on earth, but he grew
more sorrowful, the more he became convinced that he could not help her
in the matter of her salvation. With a mother's quiet right, she
withdrew the child also from his religious instruction; the child's
songs, the child's questions soon became a new and deep source of pain
to him,--and now when his violent agitation had excited him to hardness
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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