The Fitz-Boodle PapersThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Fitz-Boodle Papers
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Imaginary letters; Satire, English
“7. The Agent will be at home for consultation from ten o'clock until
two, earlier if gentlemen who are engaged at early hours in the City
desire to have an interview: and be it remembered, that a PERSONAL
INTERVIEW is always the best: for it is greatly necessary to know not
only the number but the character of the guests whom the Amphitryon
proposes to entertain,--whether they are fond of any particular wine or
dish, what is their state of health, rank, style, profession, &c.
“8. At two o'clock, he will commence his rounds; for as the metropolis is
wide, it is clear that he must be early in the field in some districts.
From 2 to 3 he will be in Russell Square and the neighborhood; 3 to 3
3/4, Harley Street, Portland Place, Cavendish Square, and the environs;
3 3/4 to 4 1/4, Portman Square, Gloucester Place, Baker Street, &c.;
4 1/4 to 5, the new district about Hyde Park Terrace; 5 to 5 3/4, St.
John's Wood and the Regent's Park. He will be in Grosvenor Square by 6,
and in Belgrave Square, Pimlico, and its vicinity, by 7. Parties there
are requested not to dine until 8 o'clock; and The Agent, once for all,
peremptorily announces that he will NOT go to the palace, where it is
utterly impossible to serve a good dinner.”
“TO TRADESMEN.
“Every Monday evening during the season the Gastronomic Agent proposes
to give a series of trial-dinners, to which the principal gormands of
the metropolis, and a few of The Agent's most respectable clients, will
be invited. Covers will be laid for TEN at nine o'clock precisely. And
as The Agent does not propose to exact a single shilling of profit from
their bills, and as his recommendation will be of infinite value to
them, the tradesmen he employs will furnish the weekly dinner gratis.
Cooks will attend (who have acknowledged characters) upon the same
terms. To save trouble, a book will be kept where butchers, poulterers,
fishmongers, &c. may inscribe their names in order, taking it by turns
to supply the trial-table. Wine-merchants will naturally compete every
week promiscuously, sending what they consider their best samples, and
leaving with the hall-porter tickets of the prices. Confectionery to
be done out of the house. Fruiterers, market-men, as butchers and
poulterers. The Agent's maitre-d'hotel will give a receipt to each
individual for the articles he produces; and let all remember that The
Agent is a VERY KEEN JUDGE, and woe betide those who serve him or his
clients ill!
“GEORGE GORMAND GOBBLETON.
“CARLTON GARDENS, June 10, 1842.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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