The Fitz-Boodle PapersThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Fitz-Boodle Papers
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Imaginary letters; Satire, English
“4. He has attended Mr. Groves of Charing Cross, and Mr. Giblett of
Bond Street, in a course of purchases of fish and meat; and is able at
a glance to recognize the age of mutton, the primeness of beef, the
firmness and freshness of fish of all kinds.
“5. He has visited the parks, the grouse-manors, and the principal
gardens of England, in a similar professional point of view.”
The Agent then, through his subordinates, engages to provide gentlemen
who are about to give dinner-parties--“1. With cooks to dress the
dinners; a list of which gentlemen he has by him, and will recommend
none who are not worthy of the strictest confidence.
“2. With a menu for the table, according to the price which the
Amphitryon chooses to incur.
“3. He will, through correspondence, with the various fournisseurs of
the metropolis, provide them with viands, fruit, wine, &c., sending to
Paris, if need be, where he has a regular correspondence with Messrs.
Chevet.
“4. He has a list of dexterous table-waiters (all answering to the name
of John for fear of mistakes, the butler's name to be settled according
to pleasure), and would strongly recommend that the servants of the
house should be locked in the back-kitchen or servants' hall during the
time the dinner takes place.
“5. He will receive and examine all the accounts of the
fournisseurs,--of course pledging his honor as a gentleman not to
receive one shilling of paltry gratification from the tradesmen he
employs, but to see that the bills are more moderate, and their goods of
better quality, than they would provide to any person of less experience
than himself.
“6. His fee for superintending a dinner will be five guineas: and The
Agent entreats his clients to trust ENTIRELY to him and his subordinates
for the arrangement of the repast,--NOT TO THINK of inserting dishes
of their own invention, or producing wine from their own cellars, as
he engages to have it brought in the best order, and fit for immediate
drinking. Should the Amphitryon, however, desire some particular dish
or wine, he must consult The Agent in the first case by writing, in the
second, by sending a sample to The Agent's chambers. For it is manifest
that the whole complexion of a dinner may be altered by the insertion
of a single dish; and, therefore, parties will do well to mention their
wishes on the first interview with The Agent. He cannot be called upon
to recompose his bill of fare, except at great risk to the ensemble of
the dinner and enormous inconvenience to himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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