India -- History -- 1000-1526 -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Reincarnation -- Fiction
This view of the matter brought a great relief to Fidá. Perhaps, after
all, the incident of the curse had been just the wild dream of a sick
man. Perhaps those sinister words had been spoken by his own heart.
Perhaps.—Perhaps.—Perhaps. But, unnaturally, after Fidá was up and
about again, he did not get well. There were days when it seemed as
if his old-time vitality were returning to him; but there were many
more when he felt as if, by no possibility, could he bear the weight
of his limbs: when, racked with an inward fever that penetrated to the
very bone, he dragged himself about only by a superhuman effort. Yet,
unspeakably dreading that time when he must face the end, the slave
made every effort to conceal his illness, forcing himself to much
that seemed impossible for a man in his condition. One thing only he
could not do. He could not see Ahalya. Now, in the light of their past
vital relationship, he realized that he could no longer attempt his
former rôle. Day and night, it is true, he longed for her sympathy,
her tenderness, the touch of her gentle hands. But in return for her
ministrations he could give her nothing—nothing but the weary plaints
of a sick man. And so, steeling his heart to loneliness, he went his
way, blindly and dumbly, yet still, after the pathetic human custom,
hoping that life held yet a few empty years for him.
When, with mid-February, the spring appeared, Ahalya could no longer
bear her unhappiness, and one evening sent Churi to Fidá, bidding
him come to her. It was a summons that could not be refused; and, in
the early darkness, he stole to her rooms by the little courtyard.
Alas! How many, many times had he come to her thus in highest joy!
How differently to-night he came! In each heart there was dread, and
fear:—in hers that he long since tired of her, in his that she could
no longer care for him. When he appeared she was alone, standing at
the end of the room by her narrow bed, her face turned to the window
through which he entered. Seeing him, she did not move, but her eyes
grew big with inquiry, and her mouth drooped a little. Fidá, who could
not look upon her without deep emotion, also stood silent till he could
command his voice. Then he said, gently, but without much expression:
“Thou hast sent for me. I have come.”
Ahalya’s lip quivered, pitiably; and she lowered her head, without
replying.
Fidá, watching her, moved forward a step or two. “Ranee—what is thy
grief?” he asked, putting her, by his appellation, infinitely far away.
Ahalya gave a sob that was like a scream, and, flinging herself face
down upon the divan, laughed and wept hysterically, but still without
speaking. Fidá, bewildered, miserable, yet hoping something that he
dared not voice, knelt at her side and longed to give her comfort;
restraining himself only by a great effort. She wept as long as she
would, and then suddenly ceased, lifted herself, and turned a burning
gaze on him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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