Bildungsromans; Families -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
“Well, I’ll have you know I’m done with men, do you understand? There’s
never been one yet that shot straight with me! Look in my eyes, Nathan
Forge! Do you see that stabbed look there?”
Nathan looked in her eyes. He saw no stabbed look. But he did see the
wild forked light and iris dilations of a rampant neurasthenic. And
moreover, if no males had ever shot straight with Bernie, Nathan had a
quiet hunch he knew the reason. But Bernie, of course, would have
exploded in one grand cataclysm of atomic energy if he had not agreed
that he did see a stabbed look in her eyes.
“Men have put that stabbed look there, Nathan Forge! Your sex! Even you
have had your part in doing it!”
“Me?” cried the amazed young man.
“You! You, you, you! That day off in the woods—remember it? You bet you
remember it! You tempted me to degrade my girlish modesty! You taught me
what fascination a woman’s body has upon——”
“Bernice! I——”
“Stop! Not a word! I guess I know! I’ve suffered enough for it! You and
your sex are rotten! Rotten! Rotten! And I’m done with it! And yet here
you come, sniveling around in your small-town boorishness and dinner
clothes, bringing me old love letters, thinking I’d marry you! And what
have you done that I should marry you? What are you in the world,
anyway—among real men, I mean? What goals have you won? What have you to
offer a woman——?”
“I hope I’ve got a reasonable amount of decency——”
The effect on Bernice was a shriek.
“Decency! Oh, my God, what conceit! You’re worse than some of those Los
Angeles picture actors I met last summer! ‘A reasonable amount of
decency!’ You! Who lived for six years in foul propinquity with a woman
you didn’t love——”
“I believed that sticking by my wife—when I’d given her a child—was the
right and proper thing to do. Men usually are sports that way.”
“More conceit! So you’re a sport, are you—along with being eligible to
an especial halo for decency? As if anything could offset sleeping—even
for one night!—with a woman who was not your ideal and your princess! It
just goes to show where your self-respect is! You haven’t any! You never
had any self-respect! If you’d had any self-respect you never would have
permitted your father to bamboozle you as he did! Oh, what a dirty
little cad you are! And you talk of decency!”
Nathan was beginning to lose his sense of proportion; he was getting
muddled trying to follow Bernie’s logic.
“All I’ve had to go by is experience, what I’ve been taught, what I’ve
contacted,” he blurted out. “If I did wrong it was because I didn’t know
any better!”
“And here I am, trying to show you wherein you’re wrong, like a sincere
friend, or a woman who loves you—and you sit there in all your
small-town boorishness and bigotry and conceit and try to defend
yourself! Faugh!”
Nathan, ever supersensitive, began to wonder how far Bernie was right
and how far wrong. And the woman’s continued tirade did nothing to
enlighten him:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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