The Fool Errant: Being the Memoirs of Francis-Anthony Strelley, Esq., Citizen of LuccaHewlett, Maurice
General
The Fool Errant: Being the Memoirs of Francis-Anthony Strelley, Esq., Citizen of Lucca
Hewlett, Maurice
Historical fiction
"Let me tell you," he went on, "that my name in religion is Palamone--
Fra Palamone"--here his tones became lighter, as he soared from the
injured benefactor's into a jauntier suit. "Yes, I am that Fra Palamone,
known all over Tuscany for the most wheedling, good-natured, cunning,
light-fingered and light-hearted old devil of a Capuchin that ever hid
in St. Francis' wound. Hey! but I'm snug in my snuff-coloured suit. My
poor old father--God have him after all his pains!--put me there, to lie
quiet and nurse my talent, and so I do when times are hard. But the
waxing moon sees me skipping, and you will no more keep me long off the
road than your cur upon it. I must be out and about--in the kitchen to
tease the wenches, into the taverns for my jug of wine, off to the
fairs, where the ducats blow like thistle-down; under the gallows to see
my friends dance, at the gaol doors against delivery; the round of the
pillories, a glance at the galleys--with a nose for every naughty savour
and an ear for every salted tale. I have prospered, I was made to
prosper. This good belly of mine, this broad, easy gullet, these hands,
this portly beard, which may now get as white as it can, since I have
done with gossip Fra Clemente--a wrist of steel, fingers as hard as
whipcord, and legs like anchor-cables; all these were fostered and made
able by brown St. Francis' merry sons. Fra Palamone, dear unknown, Fra
Palamone, ever your servant! And now--"here, with another revolting
change, he turned his lips back to show his tooth--"And now," said he,
"you fish-eyed, jelly-gutted, staring, misbegotten bottle of bile, who
in the deuce's name lent you the impudence to listen to my confidential
histories without so much as letting me know your fool's name--hey?"
The ferocious invective of this peroration accorded so ill with his
prattling exordium that I was left with nothing but a gaze. This I gave
him liberally; but he went on, lashing himself into fury, to use every
vernacular oath he could lay tongue to. He swore in Venetian, in
Piedmontese, in Tuscan. He swore Corsican, Ligurian, Calabrian, Spanish,
Hebrew, Arabian and Portuguese. He shook his fists in my face,
dangerously near my astonished eyes; he leaped at me, gnashing his teeth
like a fiend; he bellowed injuries, shocking allegations impossible to
be proved, horrible guesses at my ancestry, he barked like a dog, bayed
at me on all fours; finally whirling his staff over his head, he rushed
at me as if to dash my brains out--then, cooling as suddenly as he had
boiled over, stopped short, looked quizzically at me, blew out his
cheeks and let his breath escape in a volley. "Poh!" says he, "Poh! what
an old Palamone we have here," threw down his staff and came towards me
all smiles, his arms extended.
"Admirable youth!" he cried heartily, "give me your hands. I love you
dearly; we shall be fast friends, I can see. Kiss me, boy, kiss me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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