"Nonsense! Booze killed her. Come, Charley, dismount, poor girl, and
we'll turn old Peter loose," as they reached the camp.
Charley dismounted, then stood staring levelly into Roger's eyes. "I let
my love for Dick kill her. I hate him now. Oh, how I hate him!"
"Don't talk about that," exclaimed Roger. "Charley, let's go into the
living tent out of the sun."
They sat down side by side on one of the trunks. Roger had a vague
notion that Charley would find relief if she could weep. But he had no
notion of how to make her do so. He took one of her feverish, trembling
hands in his and began talking at random.
"You are so like Felicia. You two always were getting confused in my
mind and right now it's worse than ever. She loved me as much as I loved
her. And now you'll have to try to be fond of me too, for her sake,
Charley, and overlook my failings. You didn't kill her, my dear. She
might have been bitten anywhere and at any time. Try to think of that.
Why, you took wonderful care of her. Such care as never was on sea nor
land, she used to say to me."
Felicia's familiar little phrase was too much for Charley. Suddenly she
ran over to one of the cots and dropping there burst into tears. Then
Roger, wiping the sweat from his face, left her while he went out to
boil the tea kettle. When he returned in about half an hour, he was able
to persuade Charley to drink a cup of strong tea and eat a cracker. The
sun had set by the time she had finished, and she asked him to walk with
her up and down the sand before the door.
How many hours he paced up and down in the hot darkness with Charley
clinging to his arm, he could not tell. She did not cry again. Her
agony of mind, like Roger's, was too deep for tears. She could only
wring her hands and stumble back and forth like a hunted thing.
It was Roger's first experience in trying to assuage the grief of any
one else. He discovered resources within himself of which he never
before had dreamed.
"We were all to blame, Charley," he insisted again and again.
"No, the fault was mine! Oh, little, lovely Felicia! Roger, you must
know that though I wouldn't let you strike Dick, I hate him! I hate
him!"
"Good God, Charley! Let's not bring Dick in, to-night. We have our own
private hell as he has his. Do you know that I'm realizing that what you
said is right? That if Felicia had seen me again in one of my temper
fits, it might have driven her away, just as this did. I'll never lose
control of my temper again, Charley."
She did not answer except to groan. After a time, Roger said, "I'm
thinking about Dick's wound. If it isn't attended to, soon, gangrene may
set in. You and I had better drive him into town to-morrow."
"We'll not. He deserves to lose his leg!"
"Perhaps he does. But we aren't the ones to say so. Come into the tent,
Charley, you are staggering and so am I."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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