Ernest! The friend of his boyhood and his young manhood. Generous,
sweet-tempered, easy going Ernest! How patiently he had endured Roger's
temper! How loyally he had devoted himself to Roger's experiments. How
utterly he had given himself to their friendship. Why had he betrayed
Roger at the last? What had happened? Roger's brain seemed on fire as he
turned over in his mind the events that had led to Tuesday's tragedy.
Charley had come to him and had said:--
Well--no matter what she had said. Long before she had told him that his
life failure was due to his selfish indifference to other people. He
remembered that he had not believed her. But now the words seemed seared
into his brain.
Roger took a long drink, then as methodically as he could he examined
his own temperament. First, he tried to consider himself as if he were
Ernest looking at Roger. What had Roger ever done for Ernest? He had
been a constant spur to Ernest mentally, forcing him into new fields of
research and experiment, but only after all, for Roger's own purposes,
or Roger's own ideas. What return had Roger ever made for the exquisite
hospitality of Ernest's home and the tenderness of Ernest's mother?
None! None whatever! What return even in kindness had Roger ever made
for Ernest's untiring efforts to promote the solar device. Once more
Roger whispered huskily:
"None! None at all! Less than nothing!"
So Ernest must see him as a brain devoid of any human qualities save
that of quick temper. Thank heaven, Felicia never had seen him angry but
once! But Charley had seen every red hate that had swept him since he
had come to the desert. What would he not give if this were not so! More
than any one in the world, he suddenly thought, he wanted Charley's
good opinion. And how must she see him? Impatient, ugly tempered,
selfish,--excepting toward Felicia. Thank God, she had seen how he had
loved that little child.
And so, here he was at thirty, a failure. It was better to acknowledge
it now: to admit that the fault was his; to go on into some mining camp
and lose himself than to drag on making a fool of himself at the Sun
Plant. He would rest a little longer, then start on in the moonlight.
Once more Roger stretched himself out on his bed of sand. As he did so,
Peter brayed again. Roger jumped to his feet, the cold sweat starting
from his forehead. Felicia's little burro! What devil could have entered
into him that he could treat a dumb brute so! He tore off his clothing
and jumped into the water. It was not easy to breast the current, he was
so tired. But he made the bank and staggering up to the mesquite tree,
he untied Peter.
"There, old man," he said gently, "go back to your friends."
Then he turned to cross the river. He was carried far below his camp
this time and for some minutes after he landed he lay naked and
exhausted before he could urge himself back to the cottonwood log and
climb into his clothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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