The Forged Note: A Romance of the Darker RacesMicheaux, Oscar
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The Forged Note: A Romance of the Darker Races
Micheaux, Oscar
African Americans -- Fiction
Mildred Latham succeeded in her work. And with her success, there came
to her each day, almost every hour, thoughts of the one of her dreams.
This day, and others as well, she shuddered when she could not forget
what he had been told. It was worse, and more, because he had been told
the truth. It hurt her. He was somewhere, and he didn't know that she
loved him; but, even if he did, he could not accept this knowledge with
any delight. No, he was out of her life, or, rather, she was out of his.
He would never, no never, be out of hers. Never, because, as she felt
every day, it was his memory that stimulated her, made her feel and
appreciate what great good a life can do. And she did all she could, in
her way, to assist others. Some day, maybe, she might be able to do
more.
When she undressed each night to retire, she fell on her knees and
offered thanks to Him that is Holy. She asked for strength and
conviction and courage to continue in the same on the morrow. She
struggled to lead a Christian life, and to be acceptable in the eyes of
her Creator.... She was a believer.
Mildred was welcomed everywhere, and treated with all the courtesy due
to a lady. When she left a house one day, where two women had given her
their order, she overheard them say she was beautiful. She felt her
heart throbbing. She was not vain, but she loved to be called
attractive. Then she thought of him. He had called her beautiful also.
She wondered whether he, at any time, forgot the words he heard, and
remembered her as he had seen her that day. The day they had danced and
he--kissed her. She seemed to feel still that kiss; she hoped to feel it
always. She wondered, if he knew she was working in his memory and made
happy thereby, would he be pleased--and would he, at least, try to
forget as much as he could what he had been told. He could, of course,
not forget. That made it hard. _She did not expect him to forget._
When the day's work was done, and she had returned to her place of
abode, she lay upon her bed, and for a time, she gave up to thoughts of
him. She knew not where he was. She did not try to find out, that would
make it worse. Sometimes she felt that if she did, perhaps, it might
help her in her picture of him; then again, she did not think it best.
That might bring him too conspicuously before her. Sometimes at night
she would suddenly awaken, and her very soul would be on fire. She sat
up at these times, and almost declared it could not go on this way. She
must know his whereabouts; he must feel, know that she loved him. And
then, when the spell had died--was killed, for its death was inevitable,
she would lie down again and try to forget. But she never succeeded in
this.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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