She was already growing to womanhood at this period. Of precocious
nature, she endured her martyrdom with extraordinary fortitude. She
rarely gave way, excepting when her natural pride succumbed to her
cousin’s outrages. Soon even, she was able to bear, without a tear, the
incessant insults of this cowardly fellow, who ever watched her while
he spoke, for fear lest she should fly at his face. Then, too, she
learnt to silence him by staring at him fixedly. She had several times
felt inclined to run away from the Jas-Meiffren; but she did not do so,
as her courage could not brook the idea of confessing that she was
vanquished by the persecution she endured. She certainly earned her
bread, she did not steal the Rebufats’ hospitality; and this conviction
satisfied her pride. So she remained there to continue the struggle,
stiffening herself and living on with the one thought of resistance.
Her plan was to do her work in silence, and revenge herself for all
harsh treatment by mute contempt. She knew that her uncle derived too
much advantage from her to listen readily to the insinuations of
Justin, who longed to get her turned out of doors. And in a defiant
spirit she resolved that she would not go away of her own accord.
Her continuous voluntary silence was full of strange fancies. Passing
her days in the enclosure, isolated from all the world, she formed
ideas for herself which would have strangely shocked the good people of
the Faubourg. Her father’s fate particularly occupied her thoughts. All
Justin’s abuse recurred to her; and she ended by accepting the charge
of murder, saying to herself, however, that her father had done well to
kill the gendarme who had tried to kill him. She had learnt the real
story from a labourer who had worked for a time at the Jas-Meiffren.
From that moment, on the few occasions when she went out, she no longer
even turned if the ragamuffins of the Faubourg followed her, crying:
“Hey! La Chantegreil!”
She simply hastened her steps homeward, with lips compressed, and
black, fierce eyes. Then after shutting the gate, she perhaps cast one
long glance at the gang of urchins. She would have become vicious, have
lapsed into fierce pariah savagery, if her childishness had not
sometimes gained the mastery. Her extreme youth brought her little
girlish weaknesses which relieved her. She would then cry with shame
for herself and her father. She would hide herself in a stable so that
she might sob to her heart’s content, for she knew that, if the others
saw her crying, they would torment her all the more. And when she had
wept sufficiently, she would bathe her eyes in the kitchen, and then
again subside into uncomplaining silence. It was not interest alone,
however, which prompted her to hide herself; she carried her pride in
her precocious strength so far that she was unwilling to appear a
child. In time she would have become very unhappy. Fortunately she was
saved by discovering the latent tenderness of her loving nature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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