“Give yourself but fair play, Glencore, and you will surmount all your
troubles. Come back into the world again,--I don't mean this world of
balls and dinner-parties, of morning calls and afternoons in the Park;
but a really active, stirring life. Come with me to India, and let us
have a raid amongst the jaguars; mix with the pleasant, light-hearted
fellows you 'll meet at every mess, who ask for nothing better than
their own good spirits and good health, to content them with the
world; just look out upon life, and see what numbers are struggling and
swimming for existence, while you, at least, have competence and wealth
for all you wish; and bear in mind that round the table where wit is
flashing and the merriest laughter rings, there is not a man--no, not
one--who hasn't a something heavy in his heart, but yet who'd feel
himself a coward if his face confessed it.”
“And why am I to put this mask upon me? For what and for whom have I to
wear this disguise?” cried Glencore, angrily.
“For yourself! It is in bearing up manfully before the world you'll
gain the courage to sustain your own heart. Ay, Glencore, you 'll do
it to-morrow. In the presence of royalty you 'll comport yourself with
dignity and reserve, and you 'll come out from the interview higher and
stronger in self-esteem.”
“You talk as if I were some country squire who would stand abashed and
awe-struck before his King; but remember, my worthy Colonel, I have
lived a good deal inside the tabernacle, and its mysteries are no
secrets to _me_.
“Reason the more for what I say!” broke in Harcourt; “your deference
will not obliterate your judgment; your just respect will not alloy your
reason.”
“I'll talk to the King, sir, as I talk to you,” said Glencore,
passionately; “nor is the visit of my seeking. I have long since done
with courts and those who frequent them. What can royalty do for _me?_
Upton and yourself may play the courtier, and fawn at levées; you have
your petitions to present, your favors to beg for; you want to get this,
or be excused from that: but I am no supplicant; I ask for no place, no
ribbon. If the King speak to me about my private affairs, he shall be
answered as I would answer any one who obtrudes his rank into the place
that should only be occupied by friendship.”
“It may be that he has some good counsel to offer.”
“Counsel to offer me!” burst in Glencore, with increased warmth. “I
would no more permit any man to give me advice unasked than I would
suffer him to go to my tradespeople and pay my debts for me. A man's
private sorrows are his debts,--obligations between himself and his own
heart. Don't tell me, sir, that even a king's prerogative absolves him
from the duties of a gentleman.”
While he uttered these words, he continued to fill and empty his
wine-glass several times, as if passion had stimulated his thirst; and
now his flashing eyes and his heightened color betrayed the effect of
wine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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