The Fortunes of Hector O'Halloran, and His Man, Mark Antony O'TooleMaxwell, W. H. (William Hamilton)
General
The Fortunes of Hector O'Halloran, and His Man, Mark Antony O'Toole
Maxwell, W. H. (William Hamilton)
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Mr. Clifford paused. His usual stern composure was unequal to conquer
the agitation which the terrible recollections of early imprudence
had brought back. A short silence was unbroken, when suddenly the door
unclosed, and the dark functionary presented himself, and handed me
a letter of most unprepossessing appearance. He announced that the
messenger would not leave without an answer--and ill-timed as the
interruption was, my uncle signalled me to break the wafer. I obeyed,
and communicated to him the contents of the following singular
epistle:--
“_For Captain Hectur O’Haleran, esquare, or Mister Hartlay, if he’s
out_.
“Honered Sir,--
“i am sorray too inform ye we are in Trubbel and at Present undir the
Skrew in the Watehouse they call Watlin Street, and all Contrarey to
sense and Justis. We went into a dacint-lookin’ house, with a Woman
without a head for the sign of it, and cald for half a pint, and sat
down fair and asey at the fire, when in coms three Blakgards. Immadately
they begins to rig us. ‘Morra, Pat,’ says one of them. ‘Devil a worse
guess ye iver med, young man,’ says I. ‘Arrah!’ says he, ‘Does ye’r
mother know your out?’ ‘What the blazes have ye to say to my mother?’
says I. ‘What a hole you could make in a saucepan of patatays the night
she was married!’ says he; and then he goes on aggravatin’ us, and
abusin’ the old country, swarin’ Saint Patrick wasn’t a reglar saint at
all, and not fit to powder Saint Gorge’s wig, af he wore one. ‘Oh! by
the groves of Blarney,’ says Mr. O’Toole, ‘the divil wouldn’t stand this
i’ so he offs wid the coat, and offered to box the biggest of the lot
for thirty shilhns. “Well, they agrees to it at wonse, and Mark and the
big’un set-to. Sorra handier boy iver it was my luck to meet with! he
made nothin’ of the chap--a couple of rounds settled his hash, and
he gives in. “Well, what does they do? insted of comin’ down with the
battel money, they charges us on the watch, and we were bunddled off
here, as if we were a pair of Pickpockets. We sends off to the Dials to
say we were in trubbel, and before half an hour, there was the full of
the street of dacent acquaintances. Some wanted to give bail, others
offered to pull down the watchouse; and an honest man, whose father came
from Ballyhawnis, went off to knock up the Priest, and get him to write
us a Carakter. The divil a one of the bailsmen the constable would touch
with the tongs; and so here we remain, snug and warm in the Black hole,
unless your honir will bee plased to get us off.
“I Remain, till Death, your Obediant Servint,
“James McGrale.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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