The Fortunes of the Colville Family; or, A Cloud with its Silver LiningSmedley, Frank E. (Frank Edward)
General
The Fortunes of the Colville Family; or, A Cloud with its Silver Lining
Smedley, Frank E. (Frank Edward)
Christmas stories; English fiction -- 19th century; Families -- Fiction
Ernest Carrington sat in the retirement of his little study, and gave
himself up to thought. His scholastic labours were over for the day, and
with a head too tired for mental occupation, and a heart too full of the
great problem of existence to find pleasure in frivolous amusements, he
sat resting his aching brow upon his hand, pondering the mighty enigma
of human life in general, and his own individual experience of it in
particular. He thought of the aspirations of his boyhood, of the bright
hopes of his later youth, and mentally compared them with the dark
reality of his manhood; he called to mind the dreams of greatness which
he had pictured to himself--not the-false and hollow greatness of mere
rank and riches, but the true greatness of living to become a benefactor
to his species; the greatness which he sought when he took upon him
the duties, and privileges, and responsibilities of his sacred calling;
greatness the praise whereof is uttered by the lips of widows and
orphans, and written on broken and contrite hearts, to be transferred
thence, by an angel’s hand, to the Book of Life. And then, for he was
young and loving-hearted, he thought of softer, brighter visions; of a
fair ideal being, with an angel’s brow and a woman’s form, who should
pass by his side through life, and, loving him more than all things else
save the GOD who gave them, to each other, should meet him again, and
be his reward in Heaven, where perfect bliss could be ensured by the
certainty that they should part no more. And in what had these bright
visions ended?--a life of solitary drudgery. Even independence, the one
thing that sweetens labour--the power of carrying out his own ideas of
right and wrong--even that, by his subordinate position, was denied to
him. And why was all this? What wrong had he committed, to deserve
so severe a punishment? Why was he condemned to this mental
prison-discipline, this alternation between psychological oakum-picking
and solitary confinement? Nay, was not his present position, the result
of his own unselfishness and liberality? If he had not given up his
patrimony for the benefit of his sisters, nor relinquished his claim
upon the entailed property, he would have possessed a fair income, on
which he could have lived comfortably until he should have met with some
ecclesiastical preferment, the duties of which would have afforded him
the opportunities he sought of devoting himself to the good of others.
If not permitted to exercise the talents committed to him to the glory
of God, why was he born into this world at all? Poor Ernest! he had yet
to learn that hardest of all lessons, to an eager, energetic spirit: he
had yet to acquire belief in the great truth, that
“------They also serve
Who stand and wait.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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