France -- History -- Henry III, 1574-1589 -- Fiction
"Ah!" murmured Chicot, "you are silent; then you doubt yourself."
"Ah!" said Borromée to himself, "you chatter; then you are getting
tipsy." Then he asked Chicot, "How many bottles does it take you?"
"For what?"
"To get lively."
"About four."
"And to get tipsy?"
"About six."
"And dead drunk?"
"Double."
"Boaster!" thought Borromée, "he stammers already, and has only drunk
four. Come, then, we can go on," said he, and he drew out a fifth for
Chicot and one for himself.
But Chicot remarked that of the five bottles ranged beside Borromée some
were half full, and others two-thirds; none were empty. This confirmed
him in his suspicions that the captain had bad intentions with regard to
him. He rose as if to fetch his fifth bottle, and staggered as he did
so.
"Oh!" said he, "did you feel?"
"What?"
"The earth trembling."
"Bah!"
"Yes, ventre de biche! Luckily the hotel of the Corne d'Abondance is
solid, although it is built on a pivot."
"What! built on a pivot?"
"Doubtless, since it turns."
"True," said Borromée, "I felt the effects, but did not guess the
cause."
"Because you are not a Latin scholar, and have not read the 'De Natura
Rerum.' If you had, you would know that there is no effect without a
cause."
"Well, my dear captain, for you are a captain like me, are you not?"
"Yes, from the points of my toes to the roots of my hair."
"Well, then, my dear captain, tell me, since there is no effect without
a cause, as you say, what was the cause of your disguise?"
"What disguise?"
"That which you wore when you came to visit Dom Modeste."
"How was I disguised?"
"As a bourgeois."
"Ah! true."
"Will you tell me?"
"Willingly, if you will tell me why you were disguised as a monk.
Confidence for confidence."
"Agreed," said Borromée.
"You wish to know, then, why I was disguised," said Chicot, with an
utterance which seemed to grow thicker and thicker.
"Yes, it puzzles me."
"And then you will tell me?"
"Yes, that was agreed."
"Ah! true; I forgot. Well, the thing is very simple; I was a spy for the
king."
"A spy?"
"Yes."
"Is that, then, your profession?"
"No, I am an amateur."
"What were you spying there?"
"Every one. Dom Modeste himself, then Brother Borromée, little Jacques,
and the whole convent."
"And what did you discover, my friend?"
"First, that Dom Modeste is a great fool."
"It does not need to be very clever to find that out."
"Pardon me; his majesty Henri the Third, who is no fool, regards him as
one of the lights of the Church, and is about to make a bishop of him."
"So be it; I have nothing to say against that promotion; on the
contrary, it will give me a good laugh. But what else did you discover?"
"I discovered that Brother Borromée was not a monk but a captain."
"Ah! you discovered that?"
"At once."
"Anything else?"
"I discovered that Jacques was practicing with the foils before he began
with the sword."
"Ah! you discovered that also. Anything else."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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