eternal opposition, but are not necessarily antagonistic, any
more than are the thumb and the little finger as they meet in
some task, any more than are excitation and inhibition. Every
function in our lives has its check and balance, and fellowship,
yearning and superiority urge one another.
From the cradle to the grave, we desire fellowship as an addition
to our gregarious feeling. We ask for approval, for we expand
under sympathy and contract under cold criticism. Nothing is so
pleasant as "appreciation," which means taking us at our own
valuation or adding to it,, and there is no complaint so common
as, "They don't understand me," which merely means, "They blame
me without understanding that I really seek the good, that I am
really good, though perhaps I seem not to be." The child who
hurts its thumb runs to its mother for sympathy, and the pain is
compensated for, at least in part, by that sympathy. Throughout
life we desire sympathy for our hurts, except where that sympathy
brings with it a feeling of inferiority. To be helped by others
in one way or another is the practical result of this aspect of
fellowship.
(There is a convincing physical element in the feelings and
desires of man, evidenced in language and phrase. Superiority
equals aboveness, inferiority equals beneathness; sympathy equals
the same feeling. To criticize is to "belittle" and to cause the
feeling of littleness; to praise is "to make a man expand," to
enlarge him. Blame hurts one's feelings,--"He wounded me," etc.)
At the same time we are strangely affected by the condition of
others. Where no competitive-jealousy complex is at work, we
laugh with other people in their happiness, we are moved to tears
by suffering; we admire vigor, beauty and the fine qualities of
others; we accept their purposes and beliefs; we are glad to
agree with the stranger or the friend and hate to disagree. We
establish within ourselves codes and standards largely because we
wish to accept and believe and act in the same way as do those we
want as fellows. Having set up that code as conscience or ideals,
it helps us to govern our lives, it gives a stability in that we
tend at once to resist jealousy, envy, the "wrong" emotions and
actions. "Helping others" becomes a great motive in life,
responding to misery with tears, consolation and kindness,
reacting to the good deeds of others with praise. To be generous
and charitable becomes method for the extension of fellowship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account