You may judge a man by his type of argument and his reaction to
the opinions of others. One should hold to his own beliefs and
opinions, but only if they withstand the assaults of reason. To
build ego feeling into opinions is to make ignorance sacred. For
most of us there are certain opinions that we will not tolerate,
and there are others to which we are indifferent. There are those
who feel it incumbent on themselves to contradict any opinion,
even if they agree fundamentally with it. The mere fact that some
one else gave it utterance arouses a sort of jealousy. Then there
are others who will not permit any opinion of their own to be
discussed, to whom it is a personal affront to do this. What we
call urbanity is tolerance of other opinions; what we call
reasonableness is the willingness to change opinions if
convinced. What we call vacillation is to have no fixed opinion,
to be influenced at once by the opinions of others. The pleasure
sought in argument is a victory for our opinions and thus for
ourselves.
Here Montaigne's wisdom aptly expresses itself: "We deride
ourselves a hundred times when we mock our neighbor." He is
stubborn and unreasonable who does not agree with us. "Be
reasonable," cry the unreasonable as they argue. "How stubborn
and pigheaded you are," say those inaccessible to reason. The
difficulty in reaching a true estimate of the world, ourselves
and our neighbors lies in the egoism which permeates our beliefs
and opinions.
A second direction of the impulse to superiority is personal
beauty. Not only does the young girl (or any other, male or
female) dress and adorn herself to attract those whose good
opinion she seeks, but also she seeks superiority over her
competitors. Her own self-valuation increases with the
admiration of some and the discomfiture of others. To be
beautiful, attractive or pretty becomes thus a goal to many aims
of the personality; it offers a route to success in obtaining
power, riches, etc.; it yields the longed-for admiration, and it
gives the satisfaction of superiority. It rarely has in it any
ideal of service or of help, though beauty in the abstract is an
ideal of high value. To desire to be beautiful physically as a
leading aim usually leads to selfishness and petty vanity. As a
subsidiary aim it balances character, but unfortunately, as we
have before seen, it is inculcated as a primary aim early in the
life of a girl. True, men seek to be beautiful in a masculine
way, but the goal of masculine beauty is strength, which is
directly serviceable. This is not to say that there are no men
who are vain of their good looks, for there are many. But only
occasionally does one find a man who organizes his life efforts
to be beautiful, who establishes criteria of success or failure
on complexion, hair, features of face and lines of figure. So
long, therefore, as woman can obtain power through beauty and sex
appeal, so long may we expect a trivial trend in her character.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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