Unification of purpose often goes too far. Men lose sight of the
duties they owe to wife and family in their pursuit of wealth or
fame; they forget that relaxation and pleasure-seeking are normal
and legitimate aims. They deify a purpose; they attach it to
themselves so that it becomes more essentially themselves than
their religion or their family. They speak of their work as if
every letter were capitalized and lose sympathy and interest in
the rest of the wide striving world. Men grow hard, even if
philanthropists, in too excessive a devotion to a purpose, and
soon it is their master, and they are its slaves. Happy is he who
can follow his purpose efficiently and earnestly, but who can
find interest in many things, pleasure in the wide range of joys
the world offers and a youthful curiosity and zest in the new.
Every human being, no matter how civilized and unified, how
modern and social in his conduct, has within him a core of
uncivilized, disintegrating, ancient and egoistic desires and
purposes. "I feel two natures struggling within me" is the
epitome of every man's life. This is what has been called
conflict by the psychoanalysts, and my own disagreement with them
is that I believe it to be distinctly conscious in the main. A
man knows that the pretty young girls he meets tempt him from his
allegiance to his wife and his desires to be good; a woman knows
that the prosaic husband no longer pleases, and why he does not
please,--only if you ask either of them bluntly and directly they
will deny their difficulties. The organic activities of the body,
basic in desire of all kinds, are crude and give rise to crude
forbidden wishes, but the struggle that goes on is repressed,
rebelled against and gives rise to trains of secondary
symptoms,--fatigue, headache, indigestion, weariness of life and
many other complaints. It is perfectly proper to complain of
headache, but it is a humiliation to say that you have chosen
wrongly in marriage, or that you are essentially polygamous, or
that an eight-hour day of work at clerking or bookkeeping
disgusts and bores you. People complain of that which is proper
and allows them to maintain self-respect, but they hide that
which may lower them in the eyes of others. Gain their
confidence, show that you see deeper than their words and you get
revelations that need no psychoanalytic technique to elicit and
which are distinctly conscious.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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