A peculiarity of fatigue is remarkably well shown by this person.
When she is tired or convalescent a depressing thought sticks,
becomes an obsession, a fixed idea, to the plague of her life.
Thus when she was nursing her first baby the night feedings
exhausted her. One night, half asleep and half awake, with the
vigorous little animal pulling away at her breast, she watched
the pulsing fontanelle on the top of the baby's head, and the
thought came to her how dreadfully easy it would be to injure the
brain beneath. Her heart pounced in fear, she almost fainted at
the thought, and yet it "stuck" and came back to her with each
random association. I need not detail how the idea recurred a
dozen times a day and brought the fear that she was going insane.
She stopped nursing the baby at night, got a good rest, and the
idea disappeared. She was "able to shake off" when rested that
which was a hideous obsession when fatigued.
Indeed, one might speak of persons of this type as hypothymic as
well as cyclothymic. The hypothymic are those whose stock of
courage and hope is easily exhausted, who become easily
discouraged. They are borrowers of energy and vigor, they need
sturdier folk around them; often they are said to be sensitive,
and while this is sometimes true, it is more often the case that
they are more affected. That is, two persons may notice the same
thing or suffer the same sickness, but the so-called sensitive
has a reserve of courage and energy that disappears, whereas the
other has enough left in stock so that he does not feel any
change.
The extraordinary complexity of human character is well
illustrated by C. D. She is hypothymic or cyclothymic to the
little affairs of life and to the minor illnesses. Yet when her
family fortunes were greatly imperilled by a financial crisis,
she stood up against the strain far better than did her husband,
a man sturdy and buoyant in most of the affairs of life. His ego
was more concerned with financial fortune than was hers, and
against this ill she was the philosopher and not he.
We may well contrast L. D. with her husband. He belongs to the
sturdy in emotions and morals,--the stable. Dark days and bright
days, sickness and health, fatigue and rest seem to impair his
courage, hope and general cheerfulness of mood but little. He has
a high organic balance and a well-built-up philosophy. I started
to say of him that he is an optimist, but this is not true. He is
cheerful, but he does not sing, "Tra la la, all the things that
are, are good." He says, "There are bad things, but I must carry
on and fight the good fight." His is a philosophy of courage and
endurance, but not of optimistic twaddle. He is too wide-brained
to speak of life as "all good" when he knows of inherited
disease, cruelty, preventable poverty, gross neglect and
unmerited misfortune. Yet he lends hope and comfort to the
afflicted, and he has an unvarying comfort for his cyclothymic
mate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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