A famous Boston physician was a splendid example of a brusque,
overbearing mask used to hide a shrinking, timid, subjectively
inferior personality. Always very near-sighted and unattractive,
he was essentially shy and modest but decided or felt that this
was a rough world and the way to get ahead was to be rough.
Towards the weak and sick he was kindness itself--gentle,
sympathetic and patient--but towards his colleagues he was a
boor. Distant, haughty, quick to demand all the consideration due
him, he was noted far and wide for the caustic way he attacked
others for their opinions and beliefs and the respect he required
for his own. The general opinion of physicians was that he was a
conceited, arrogant, aristocratic man, and he was avoided except
for his medical opinion, which was usually very sound. Those
admitted to the sanctum of this man's real self knew him to be
really modest and self-deprecatory, anxious to do right and
almost obsessed by the belief that he knew but little compared to
others.
One day there walked into my office a lady, head of a large
enterprise, who had been pointed out to me some time previously
as the very personification of self-assurance and superiority. A
dignified woman of middle age, whose reserve and correct manners
impressed one at once; she bore out in career and casual
conversation this impression of one whose confidence and belief
in herself were not misplaced, in other words, a harmoniously
developed egotist. What she came to consult me about, was--her
feeling of inferiority!
All of her life, said she, she had been overawed by others. As a
girl her mother ruled her, and her younger sister, more charming
and more vivacious, was the pet of the family. Brought up in a
strict church, she developed a firmness of speech and conduct
that inhibited the frankness and friendliness of her social
contacts. Because of this, and her overserious attitudes
generally, girls of her own age rather avoided her, and she
became painfully self-conscious in their company as well as in
the company of men. She wanted to "let go" but could not, and in
time felt that there was something lacking in her, that people
laughed at her behind her back and that no one really liked her.
Her reaction to this was to determine that she would not show her
real feelings, that she would deal with the world on a basis of
"business only" and cut out friendship from her life. Her
intelligence and her devotion to her work brought her success,
and she would have gone her way without regard for her
"inferiority complex" had not chance thrown in her way a young
woman colleague who saw through her elder's pose and became her
friend. My patient drank in this friendship with an avidity the
greater for her long loneliness, and she was very happy until the
younger woman fell in love with a man and began to neglect her
colleague.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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