The Four-Masted Cat-Boat, and Other Truthful TalesLoomis, Charles Battell
General
The Four-Masted Cat-Boat, and Other Truthful Tales
Loomis, Charles Battell
American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American; Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, American
So far from flies loving “high” meat, it is an acquired taste with
them. This had long been a theory with me, but it is only a year
since I proved it by an interesting experiment. I secured a setting
of flies’ eggs,--not thoroughbred eggs, but just the ordinary
barn-yard variety,--and I set them under a motherly bluebottle
fly, after I had made her a comfortable nest in a pill-box. I saw
to it that she had the proper food for a setting fly--not mush and
milk, but flakes of hominy and grains of sugar once a day. I also
dusted her nest thoroughly with insecticide and covered her with
a tea-strainer so that she would be secure from molestation from
other flies. For three weeks she was faithful to her duties, and
then, one morning, I saw that she had experienced the sweet joys of
motherhood, for there, on the edge of her nest, sat thirteen--mark
the number--cunning little flies, pluming and preening themselves
with innate skill. I could scarce keep back the tears.
[Illustration]
For a few days I let the little flock follow their mother, and then
I shut them up away from her in my guest-chamber and began their
education. The sweetest milk was theirs from the start, and after
a week of bread diet, that their feathers might be strengthened, I
began to give them small scraps of porter-house steak and Southdown
mutton. It was wonderful to see how the little beggars throve. One
night I slept in the guest-chamber, and they awoke me before the
robin’s matin song, although they were not three weeks old. Their
tread had a firmness, a titillating power, that never comes to a
tramp fly or to one improperly nurtured. Then, their buzzing was so
sonorous that sleep was impossible once they tuned up, so I was in
no danger of becoming a drowse-abed.
When they were two months old I determined to test my theory. I
procured some meat from the larder of a gormand friend of mine, and
brought it into my guest-chamber in an air-tight box. Then I opened
the box and awaited developments. If flies are natural-born birds of
carrion, then they would rush upon this stuff with avidity. I hid
behind the arras--if I am quite sure what arrases are--and watched my
little pets with some concern. They flew over to the meat, sniffed
it disdainfully, buzzed with ire for a few seconds, and then flew to
the ceiling with every appearance of disgust. Then the largest one
signaled to his fellows, and they flew down once more, lifted the
“condemned beef” in their talons as firemen seize a life-preserving
net, and sailed to the open window, where they dropped it. In five
minutes’ time it was black with flies that had not received proper
nurture. Was I pleased? I was delighted. I set forth a feast of sugar
on top of my bald head, and sat in the guest-chamber until my pets
had made an end of eating.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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