Sussex (England) -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
“It’s queer, Tom ... now, thur’s summat I want to know. Tell me—is a
wife better than a mother?”
“Better—but different. Doan’t you fear, mother. I’ll always want you.
Maybe I went and disremembered you and faather a bit after I wur
married, but now I’ve a youngster of my own it just shows me a liddle
bit of wot you feel ... and I’m sorry.”
He suddenly kissed her work-soiled, roughened hand, with its broken
nails and thick dull wedding-ring sunk into the gnarled finger.
“That’s wot they do to ladies in France.”
6
She watched him walk off down the Street, stopping to light his pipe
where the oast of Egypt Farm made a lee against the racing wind. Then
she walked slowly and heavily back to the house, planning a little
consolation for herself in listening to Nell’s tale of wonders.
But when she came to the kitchen she found that Nell had gone
upstairs—to wash, Mus’ Beatup told her. Moved by a spasm of
tenderness, she took the kettle from the fire and creaked off with it
to her daughter’s room.
Knocking at bedroom doors was a refinement unknown at Worge. Mrs.
Beatup accordingly burst in, to find Nell sitting on the bed,
with her face hidden in her hands. She had taken off her gown,
and sat arrayed in a short silk petticoat and an under-bodice of
a transparency that made her mother gasp; over her shoulders was
nothing but two pale-blue ribbons, against which her arms showed
yellowish-white and plumper than they used to be. So astonished was
Mrs. Beatup at this display that she scarcely noticed the hidden face.
“Nell, how fine! But you’ll catch your death—I wonder your husband
let you....” Her voice trailed off, for Nell had dropped her hands,
and her face was running with tears.
“My poor liddle girl!”—the mother’s heart went out in pity. She
put the kettle on the floor, and going over to the bed, sat down
on it with a great creaking of springs, and put her arms round
her daughter—at first rather gingerly, for fear of spoiling so
much elegance, then straining them closer, as Nell, melted into an
abandonment of weakness, began to sob against her breast.
“My poor liddle girl!... It’s unaccountable sad fur you. I know....
I know.... But doan’t you vrother, chick—he’ll come back. I’ve a
feeling as he’ll come back.”
A long shudder passed through Nell. Then suddenly she raised herself,
gripping her mother’s arms, while her eyes blazed through her tears.
“Oh, mother, mother ... don’t you see? ... it’s not that I’m afraid
he won’t come back ... it’s that I’m afraid he will.”
She threw herself down upon the pillow, sobbing with the accumulated
misery, humiliation, rage and dread of weeks. Mrs. Beatup stared at
her, dumbfounded.
“Nell—wot are you talking of? You doan’t want Steve to come back?”
“No—I hate him. I—I ... if he comes back ... and takes me away to be
my husband for good, I—I’ll kill myself.”
“Reckon you doan’t know what you’re saying. You loved him
unaccountable when you wur wed.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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