The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
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The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Then she made her second mistake. Politics having proved a broken reed,
she adopted the dangerous device of pretending to be extremely intimate
with her mascot, alluding to him as ‘Bertie,’ and if the telephone bell
rang excusing herself by saying that she must see what Bertie wanted.
Had people believed in the intimacy of this relation, one of two things
might have happened: she might either have made herself an object of
interest, or (here was the danger), she might have had a fall. She had
not at present climbed very high, so she would not have hurt herself
fatally, but neither of these things happened. Nobody cared, any more
than they cared about her having added Howard and the hyphen to her
name. Thus an unprofitable spring passed, and, as a matter of fact, she
was beginning to climb out along a horizontal branch.
With May there came to town the noted Austrian pianist, Herr
Grossesnoise. His fame had already preceded him from Vienna, and
remembering that she had once seen him at Marienbad, Molly
Howard-Britten wrote to him boldly and rather splendidly at the Ritz,
reminding him of their meeting (he had stepped on her toe and apologized
with a magnificent hat-wave), and begging him to come and dine any day
next week except Thursday, which she knew was the evening of his first
concert. She wrote--and here her fatal horizontality came in--on paper
with a coronet and another address on the top, hoping that she might
strike some streak of snobbism. She had come by this paper quite
honestly, having stayed in the house and having taken a sheet or two of
the paper put on the writing-table of her bedroom, obviously for the use
of guests. So now she used it, crossing out the address, and
substituting for it 25A Brook Street, Park Lane. A favourable answer
came, addressed to the Highly Noble Lady Howard-Britten (for he prided
himself on his English), on which the Highly Noble scrawled a couple of
dozen notes to musical friends and acquaintances (chiefly
acquaintances), asking them to dine on the forthcoming fatal Friday,
which was the day after Herr Grossesnoise’s first recital, to meet the
illustrious Austrian.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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