But how was I to dispose of them? I meditated this matter whilst I
smoked. First I thought I would drag them to the fissure or rent in the
ice just beyond the stern of the schooner and tumble them into it. But
even then they would still be with me, so to speak--I mean, they would
be neighbours though out of sight; and my eagerness was to get them away
from this island altogether, which was only to be done by casting them
into the sea. Why, though I did not mention the matter in its place, I
was as much haunted last night by the man on deck and the meditating
figure on the rocks as by the fellows in the cabin; and, laugh as you
may at my weakness, I do candidly own my feeling was, if I did not
contrive that the sea should carry those bodies away, I should come
before long to think of them as alive, no matter in what part of the
island I might bear them to, and at night-time start at every sound,
hear their voices in the wind, see their shapes in the darkness, and
even by day dread to step upon the cliffs.
That such fancies should possess me already shows how necessary it was I
should lose no time to provide against their growth; so I settled my
scheme thus: first I was to haul the figures as best I could on to the
deck; then, there being three, to get them over the side, and afterwards
by degrees to transport the four of them to some steep whence they would
slide of themselves into the ocean. Yet so much did I dread the
undertaking, and abhor the thought of the tedious time I foresaw it
would occupy me, that I cannot imagine any other sort of painful and
distressing work that would not have seemed actually agreeable as
compared with this.
My pipe being smoked out, I stepped into the cabin, and ascending the
ladder threw off the companion-cover and opened the doors, and then went
to the man that had his back to the steps, but my courage failed me; he
was so lifelike, there was so wild and fierce an earnestness in the
expression of his face, so inimitable a picture of horror in his
starting posture, that my hands fell to my side and I could not lay hold
of him. I will not stop to analyse my fear or ask why, since I knew that
this man was dead, he should have terrified me as surely no living man
could; I can only repeat that the prospect of touching him, and laying
him upon the deck and then dragging him up the ladder, was indescribably
fearful to me, and I turned away, shaking as if I had the ague.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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