The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
The cook screamed, and fought Simon Rump with her nails; and another
belligerent now appeared in his rear. This was Simon's angel, who had
beheld his conduct with intense indignation, and was now fiercely
assaulting him with her parasol. Two of the cherubs also took part in
the combat, and Rump was driven from the door into the street. The crowd
followed, cheering the angel and the two cherubs. Rump was overpowered,
and turning his back, ignominiously fled, leaving the angel and cherubs
in possession of the field. While men and women stood in the street in
wild excitement, the Professor locked the door of the hall and proceeded
to his lodgings.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
Like one who has committed a great crime, and knows that retributive
justice is in close proximity to his heels, Simon Rump fled homeward, on
foot, a miserable man. The blows and the hair-pulling, of which he was
the recipient, had driven the delusion from his brain, and he was
conscious of his guilt, and in trembling apprehension awaited his
punishment. In the house, where he had spent so many hours in days gone
by, contemplating the blissful period when it would be the abode of an
angel and seven sweet little cherubs, he now sat and listened with a
feeling of extreme terror for the sounds which would indicate the
approach of the angel aforesaid.
At length the clatter of horses' hoofs was heard, and peeping through
the window, poor Rump beheld the angel ride up with a female cherub on
the pillion behind her. A male cherub was mounted on the other horse. As
Rump saw them in the act of dismounting, the manly fortitude which he
had endeavored to summon up instantly forsook him, and he seized his hat
and fled with precipitation from the house through a back door. The
wretched man ran with speed until he reached a wood on the outskirts of
his farm, where he wandered for hours, like one who had been driven an
outcast from association with his kind. Tired and sleepy, he at last
ventured into his barn, and throwing himself on a bundle of hay,
endeavored to recruit his exhausted faculties in the arms of Morpheus.
With the ruddy dawn of the day the consciousness of his misery
returned. Rump rubbed his eyes and looked around. At the distance of one
hundred yards from where he sat on his bundle of hay he beheld his
domicile, in which dwelt an angel and seven sweet little cherubs, who
had become to him the beings he most dreaded to encounter. The hour for
breakfast at length arrived, and he knew that hot coffee and buttered
cakes were on the old mahogany table, and he was a miserable wretch
banished from his own board. Hunger at length drove him forth, and with
timidity he approached his house, ascended the steps, and attempted to
open the door. It was bolted. Rump rapped.
"Who is there?" asked the angel, in shrill and abrupt tones.
"It is I," said Simon.
"Who is I?" asked the mother of the cherubs.
"Simon Rump," said the lord of the mansion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account