The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
Tom Seddon, like most young lovers who have just parted from the objects
of their affections, had a tender heart, and, pitying the old sailor
reduced to the necessity of endangering the end of his nose when he
performed the important ceremony of fumigation, handed him a pipe with a
long stem.
Old Tim examined this valuable present with a cool glance of criticism;
and then proceeded to break the stem.
"Don't," said Tom. "What are you doing?"
"Too much timber!" said the old tar, laconically. And he broke off the
stem within an inch of the bowl, which he filled with chips from a plug
of tobacco; putting on top a live coal procured from the cook's galley.
"That beats thunder!" said Tom.
"Let him alone," said the Professor. "If he wants to give his proboscis
the benefit of an auto da fe, it is his own business."
"Look at him!" said Tom.
"His nasal protuberance enveloped in vapor looks like an altar
abundantly supplied with incense," said the Professor. "But who are
those dusky gentlemen with whom Toney seems to be so intimate?"
"This one is from the island of Madeira," said Toney.
"Si, señor," said the sailor.
"His name is Pedro," said Toney.
"Which being interpreted is Peter," said the Professor.
"Pete," said Old Tim, with a puff at his pipe.
"Probably that is a corruption of the text," said the Professor,
suggestively.
"And here is a Sardinian whose name is Pablo," said Toney.
"Which when translated is Paul," said the Professor.
"Jupiter!" exclaimed Tom Seddon, jumping back.
"It is Jupiter's brother," said the Professor, as a huge head appeared
over the bow, followed by an immense body, which had been down in the
forechains. "Neptune is coming on board to give you a fraternal hug."
"Old Nick!" said Tim, with another puff at his short pipe.
"Old Nick?" said the Professor. "I was not aware that he was an aquatic
animal. I had always understood that he delighted to dwell in another
element."
"Who is that lad running down the rigging?" said Tom to Timothy.
"Young Nick," said the salt, with another puff at his pipe.
"Old Nick and Young Nick!" said the Professor. "Undoubtedly these are
nicknames bestowed on them for euphony."
"What port is that?" asked Tim, taking the pipe from his mouth.
"It lies on the south side of the Anonymous Islands," said the
Professor.
"I have been there," said Old Nick. "Sailed with Captain Morrell in the
ship Tartar. Good port. Rum cheap and tobacco plenty."
"I have no doubt of it," said the Professor, as he arose from his seat
on a coil of rope, and, at the sound of the steward's bell summoning
them to breakfast, walked with Toney and Tom to the cabin.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
"Look at M. T. Pate," said Tom Seddon, as he sat with Toney and the
Professor on deck one morning, about a week after they had been at sea.
The ship was running at the rate of nine knots, with the wind on the
quarter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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