The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
A meeting of the passengers resulted in a determination to have a grand
ball in honor of the birthday of the immortal Washington, and the
Professor was unanimously chosen to make the arrangements. He
immediately entered upon the performance of his arduous and important
duties. After a negotiation, which was conducted on his part with the
skill of a consummate diplomatist, he succeeded in concluding an
advantageous treaty with the captain's lady, and obtained an abundant
supply of female apparel. A number of the most youthful of the
passengers were then subjected to a tonsorial operation, obliterating
every indication of a nascent beard from their features; after which
they were arrayed in the garments obtained from the old lady's wardrobe.
"Don't they look beautiful?" said Tom Seddon.
"Just like a bevy of blushing and modest maidens," said Toney.
"The susceptible Long Green Boy has fallen in love with one of them
already," said Tom.
"I fear that he will again be the victim of a hopeless attachment," said
Toney.
"I regret the absence of Love and Dove," said the Professor.
"What nice little ladies they would have made!" said Tom.
"Their dancing days are over," said Toney.
"Matrimony imposes important duties," said the Professor; "and the
little Loves and Doves will soon claim their undivided attention."
The ball-room was a long apartment, under the forecastle, called the
forward cabin. It was illuminated by a number of lamps, which "shone
o'er fair women and brave men" assembled to enjoy that "scene of revelry
by night."
"Look at Moses!" said Tom Seddon.
"The young man seems to be greatly terrified," said the Professor.
"He is like one under an optical illusion," said Toney.
"Moses believes he is now in the presence of more than a dozen beautiful
women," said Tom.
"And has shrunk timidly in a corner to avoid the observation of the
enemy," said Toney.
"He has attracted the attention of a young maiden who has fixed her
bright glances on him, as if meditating mischief," said the Professor.
"She is a bold girl," said Toney.
"Strangely forgetful of the obvious rules of propriety!" said the
Professor.
"Poor Moses is protesting," said Toney.
"But in vain; for she has grappled him around the waist," said Tom.
"And is carrying him by main force into the middle of the floor," said
Toney.
"Was ever such vigor witnessed among virgins!" said Tom.
"Never since the extinction of the Amazonian race!" said the Professor.
"Moses and his partner lead off," said Toney.
"Clear the way!" said Tom, as each gayly attired gallant selected a
partner; and soon "the fun grew fast and furious."
"Mr. Pate seems to be perfectly at home in the dance," said the
Professor.
"And so does the Long Green Boy," said Toney.
"Old Grizzly is performing his part admirably," said Tom.
"He is peeping from behind a masked battery of black beard upon the
charms of his agreeable partner," said Toney.
"The young lady should beware of his hug," said Tom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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