The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
"Pate is like old John Bunyan's poor pilgrim," said Tom Seddon.
"Groaning under his load of sin," said Toney.
"Let us shrive him," said the Professor. And he and Toney seized Pate
by the legs, and, pulling vigorously, succeeded in relieving him from
the immense load of iniquity which rested upon him.
CHAPTER XLII.
After spending a day in Callao, and visiting the site of the ancient
town, which had been destroyed by an earthquake, the band of
gold-hunters proceeded to the city of Lima. This splendid capital
presents many objects of interest to the stranger. The Professor and his
companions were astonished at the number and magnificence of the
churches; and as he was going through a gallery in one of these sacred
edifices, Wiggins discovered three holy men playing at monte, and was
only prevented from taking a hand by his ignorance of the Castilian
language. Moses was shocked at seeing the countrywomen riding astraddle
on donkeys when they entered the town on their way to the market; and he
was inexpressibly alarmed when a young female stopped him on the street,
and, producing a cigar, politely asked him for a light. So great was his
agitation that, instead of complying with her request, he dropped his
own cigar in the gutter and hastily retreated behind Botts, whose ugly
visage frightened the woman away. Hercules, having constituted himself
an inspector of the pale brandies of the country, on a certain night
went up on the flat roof of the hotel and fell through a glass door
among some Spaniards engaged in a quiet game below; and the Dons,
supposing, from his novel mode of entrance, that he came with
burglarious intent, fled from the apartment, leaving him lying in the
middle of the floor, and uttering the most terrific yells.
Toney and the Professor rushed into the room, and with some difficulty
lifting the giant on his feet, discovered that he had sustained no
injury from his sudden descent. As Hercules staggered out of the room,
the Professor pointed towards him, and gravely remarked,--
"I am now convinced of the utter falsity of what has been so long
received as an axiom in natural philosophy."
"What is that?" asked Toney.
"That confined fluids press equally in all directions," said the
Professor.
"That only holds good in hydrostatics," said Toney.
"Where water is concerned, the principle may be correct," said the
Professor, "but it is not applicable to the juice of the grape. But
where is Tom Seddon? I haven't seen him during the whole day."
"He and M. T. Pate have just returned from a visit to the tomb of
Pizarro," said Toney; "and Pate has been much shocked at a discovery
which he there made."
"What is that?" asked the Professor.
"Most of the bones of that celebrated conqueror have been stolen," said
Toney.
"By whom?" asked the Professor.
"By visitors to the tomb," said Toney.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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