The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
Pate and Wiggins fled through the forest with the murderers shouting and
firing in their rear. As it happened, they soon became separated, and
each got into a path which led him away from the other. After running
with unexampled speed for some time, Pate suddenly found himself on the
back of some huge horned monster, which rose from the earth with a loud
roar and galloped off with him. How far he rode on the back of his
terrible courser he never could tell; but at last the creature leaped
over the trunk of a fallen tree, and Pate rolled off and sank to the
earth in a comatose condition, induced by extreme terror.
When he became conscious, he got up and wandered for hours, through the
forest, lost and bewildered, and in the utmost dread of falling into the
hands of the desperadoes, who had slain poor Toney, Tom, and the
Professor. At length the day broke; and as he wandered on he espied some
one coming towards him who had a most hideous appearance. Pate was about
to turn and fly, when the man called to him, and he recognized the voice
of William Wiggins.
Wiggins had fled in headlong haste until he had emerged from the forest,
and entered an inclosure surrounding a farm-house. Here he was so
unfortunate as to overturn a bee-hive and was so badly stung by the
infuriated insects that he rushed blindly around, and got among the
poultry. Hearing the commotion among his fowls, the farmer came out with
a club, and vigorously belabored the supposed thief, until the latter
escaped, and fled back to the forest, with his face shockingly swollen
by the stings of the bees, and his body terribly bruised by the blows
from the farmer's cudgel.
When Wiggins had told his doleful story, Pate proceeded to relate how he
had been carried off on the back of some horned monster, which had
suddenly risen out of the earth, and must have been the devil. It now
being broad daylight, they succeeded in finding the way to the town,
where they told a tale of horror to the landlord at the hotel. But while
they were describing the bloody murder in the forest, the landlord, with
a smile, pointed out Toney, Tom, and the Professor standing on the
opposite side of the street, in the midst of a group of young men, who
were laughing immoderately at something which was being told. Pate and
Wiggins were now informed that they had been made the victims of a
singular custom, which was peculiar to that locality, and was termed,
"running a greenhorn." Apprehensive of the ridicule which would be
heaped upon them, they immediately took their departure from the
beautiful town of Bella Vista.
CHAPTER XIX.
"The Funny Philosophers have caused the exodus of the Seven
Sweethearts," said the Professor, as the three friends sat in Toney's
room in the hotel the morning subsequent to the departure of Pate and
Wiggins.
"Our sect must flourish," said Toney.
"And Pate's big bald head will not be seen bobbing about in Bella
Vista," said Tom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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