The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A NovelYellott, George
General
The Funny Philosophers, or Wags and Sweethearts. A Novel
Yellott, George
Fiction
The belligerents in the buggy were furiously dealing blows and loudly
uttering profanity, and the horse was frightened and ran off with the
vehicle. Tom Seddon leaped on Bear's horse and galloped off in pursuit.
On the main road leading from the town was a company of cavalry
returning from a parade. The troopers opened to the right and left, and
the two doctors passed through, furiously pommeling each other in the
buggy.
"By fours, right about wheel!" shouted the captain. "Trot! Gallop!
Charge!" and away went the cavalry, clattering down the road in pursuit
of the belligerent doctors! Tom Seddon brought up the rear.
On went the doctors in their war-chariot, each dealing blows at his
antagonist, and shouting and swearing in utter unconsciousness of the
surroundings! On rode the gallant captain at the head of his company! On
galloped Tom Seddon in the rear! Over a hill and down a descent they
rushed at a terrific rate! On the top of the next hill stood a
toll-gate. The keeper, seeing a horse running at full speed with a
vehicle, closed the gate and stopped his career. "Halt!" shouted the
captain. "Halt! halt!" cried the lieutenants. And the troopers halted
and sat on their panting horses, surrounding the buggy.
"Draw sabers!" shouted the captain. And every saber leaped from its
scabbard.
"Surrender!" said the captain, riding up to the buggy. "In the name of
the State I demand your surrender!" But Bull and Bear heard not, and
heeded not. Each had grappled his antagonist by the throat, and was
fiercely fighting.
"Sergeant, dismount two sections and secure the prisoners," said the
captain.
Eight stalwart troopers, headed by a sergeant, leaped from their horses,
and, rushing to the buggy, seized Bull and Bear by the legs and pulled
them apart.
"Tie their hands behind their backs," said the captain, "or they will go
at it again."
The prisoners were securely bound with cords, and each mounted behind a
trooper, and were thus conducted back to the town.
"I commit you both to jail for an outrageous breach of the peace," said
the magistrate, who still stood on the pavement. "Here, constable, is
the commitment. Take them both to jail. Put them in separate cells, and
don't let them get at one another again."
"Good heavens!" said Colonel Hazelwood, as he saw the two physicians led
away in the custody of the constable, "what am I to do? I have a sick
person in my house, and the only two doctors in the town have been sent
to jail for fighting in the street."
"What did they quarrel about?" asked Toney.
"Why," said the colonel, "the young lady was nervous, and could not
sleep; and Bull wanted to give her a decoction of hops, while Bear was
of opinion that she should drink a cup of catnip-tea."
"Colonel," said the Professor, "allow me to give you some advice."
"What is that?" inquired the colonel.
"Never admit two doctors into your house, unless you desire to be the
spectator of a pugilistic combat."
CHAPTER XXII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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