The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
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The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
Now, these are the whole facts of the case. She was the daughter of
respectable, Christian parents, in a New England village, where she was
highly esteemed as an amiable and virtuous young lady. But the tempter
came. Not in the form of a "serpent"--very harmless animals,
comparatively!--nor that other old fellow, commonly descried as having
clattering hoofs and forked tail, etc.--but in the flesh and semblance of
a handsome young man! I think preachers and book-makers paint their devils
too hideous and too far off! Leave off the d, and look for your evils
nearer home, and rather pleasant to look at, on the sly, and not (at
first) very unpleasant to the senses in general. These are the dangerous
(d)evils; escape _them_, and you avoid all!
In the village there were two young men, rivals for the affections of this
amiable young lady, and I know not but there were a dozen besides. One
held the only advantage over the other of having been a native of the
town, while the other was, comparatively, but little known.
Both were sober, industrious, and moral young men.
One day Miss ---- was going to the great city, and, for the "sport of the
thing," agreed to visit a celebrated fortune-teller--a clairvoyant!--at
the instigation of the young man, who, though least known to her, had
recently distanced his rival by his assiduity in pressing his suit before
the young lady.
He assured her there could be no impropriety in a young lady's visiting a
fortune-teller. It was only for fun; nobody believed in them, and she
could keep her own secret if she chose!
She went in broad daylight. The lady clairvoyant greeted her cordially,
begged her to feel quite at her ease, as there was great fortune in store
for her. She described her two lovers very minutely, and informed the girl
that the one who was to marry her would come to her in a vision, if she
would but look into a mirror hanging on the wall before her.
"I see nothing but my own face," replied the young lady, when she had
arisen and looked into the glass.
The woman then turned it half around on the hinges, swung out the frame
upon which the mirror was also hung, and, disclosing a plain black glass
behind, fastened to the wall, said,--
"Now, if you will step behind the glass, back to the wall, and again look
into the mirror, you _may_ possibly see one of the two gentlemen--I cannot
_say_ which."
More amused than alarmed, the lady complied.
[Illustration: THE FORTUNE-TELLER'S MAGIC MIRROR.]
"Still I see nothing but myself and a dark glass behind me," she said.
"Look steadfastly into the glass. _Now!_" exclaimed the woman.
"O, what--what do I see?" cried the girl. "'Tis he! 'tis Mr. ----"
"Don't be alarmed; 'tis your future husband. No power can prevent it. It
is fate--fate! But it will be a happy consummation," said the woman,
closing the mirror.
"Why, I left him at home, surely; and I came by steam. That is a solid
wall! Ah, my fate is decreed, I believe!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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