The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
"O, yes; she was an old friend of my mother's, _and asked me nothing for a
sitting_. And would _she_ possibly betray the daughter of her old friend?"
I have since learned that the young woman was married at the time, which
fact the fortune-teller must have known when she advised her to "cultivate
the friendship" of an old _roué_, "as he was rich and liberal."
Rich and liberal! No doubt! The light was astounding which broke in upon
the young lady's mind from my intimating that the old viper, the
fortune-teller (clairvoyant she calls herself), had betrayed her, and
doubtless had received ocular demonstration of the "nice old gentleman's"
liberality. Doubtless there was a five, ten, or twenty dollar sitting! and
the "friend of her mother" could well afford to give her sittings free!
Reader, if you doubt that such villanies are daily practised in this city,
such "betrayals of confidence," and "selling of families," put up "five or
ten dollars for a sitting," almost anywhere, and you can have proof. None
of your fifty cents or dollar affairs--those are for the females; but
"come down" with the V.'s and X.'s; those bring the "great information."
Let us "parable" a case.
"A nice, middle-aged gentleman" calls on Madam Blank.
"Here, now, my good woman, take this fee. Tell me a good future. Let her
have dark hair and eyes. If it is satisfactory, I double the fee."
"Call again next week, or in three or four days," is all the conversation
necessary to pass for the first "sitting."
Before the expiration of the time, just such a young lady calls. The wily
old fortune-teller--too old to sell herself any longer--sells out this,
perhaps, unsuspecting lady with black hair and eyes, by mysteriously
informing her of a certain nice gentleman whom she will meet at a
designated place, at a specified hour, on a particular day! She is _very_
courteous to the girl, asks her nothing for a sitting, has taken a liking
to her, worms from her the secrets of her birth, poverty, weaknesses,
etc., and, with many smiles and fair promises, bows her out.
She next proceeds to inform the "nice gentleman" that the job is cooked,
and the victim is unsuspecting, states where he is to meet her, the signal
by which he is to know her; takes the "double fee," and leaves the rest to
the "nice middle-aged (and shrewd) gentleman" to manage for himself.
How many young women in Boston can avouch for the truth of this statement?
I doubt not there are very many.
_Cui Bono?_ While I know and confess that there are a few ladies who
_profess_ to tell fortunes, find lost property, etc., and who do no
greater deception, still, what positive advantage has ever been derived
therefrom?
LOVE POWDERS AND DROPS.--FRENCH SECRET, ETC.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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