The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
We churned it fast, and churned it slow,
And stirred it round and round;
Yet all the livelong, weary day,
Was heard the dasher's sound.
The sun sank in the gloomy west,
The moon rose ghastly pale;
And still we churned, with courage low,
And hopes about to fail,--
When in walked Granny Dean, who heard,
With wonder and amaze,
Our troubles, as she crossed herself,
And in the fire did gaze.
"Lord, help us all!" she quickly said,
And covered up her face;
"Lord, help us all! for, as you live,
There's witches in the place!
"There's witches here within this churn,
That have possessed the cream.
Go, bring the horse-shoe that I saw
Hang on the cellar-beam."
The shoe was brought, when, round and round,
She twirled it o'er her head;
"Go, drive the witches from that cream!"
In solemn voice she said;--
Then tossed it in the fire, till red
With heat it soon did turn,
And dropped among the witches dread,
That hid within the churn.
Once more the dasher's sound was heard,--
Have patience with my rhyme,--
For, sure enough, the butter came
In twenty minutes' time.
Some say the temperature was changed
With horse-shoe glowing red;
But when we ask old Granny Dean,
She only shakes her head.--_Hearth and Home._
HORSE-SHOES.
One would suppose the folly of putting horse-shoes into cream, "fish-skins
into coffee, to settle it," and forcing filthy molasses and water down the
throats of new-born babes, were amongst the follies of the past; but they
are not yet, with many other superstitious, and even cruel and dangerous
notions, done away with. For some prominent instances of this course of
proceedings the reader may consult next chapter.
Riding through the rural districts of almost any portion of the Union, one
will sometimes find the horse-shoe nailed over the stable, porch, or even
house front door, to keep away the witches. As in Gay's fable of "The Old
Woman and her Cats:"--
"Straws laid across my path retard,
The horse-shoes nailed each threshold guard,"
In Aubrey's time, he tells us that "most houses of the west end of London
have the horse-shoe at the threshold."
The nice little old gentleman who keeps the depot at Boylston Station is a
dry joker, in his way. Over each door of the station he has an old
horse-shoe nailed.
"What have you got these nailed up over the door for?" a stranger asks.
[Illustration: BOYLSTON STATION.]
"To keep away witches. I sleep here nights," solemnly replies the
station-master; and one must be familiar with that ever agreeable face to
detect the sly, enjoyable humor with which he is so often led to repeat
this assertion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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